Good week, Bad week

Good week for:

Strolling in Naples, after the almost-bankrupt Italian city began DNA-testing dog feces on its poop-covered sidewalks, so it can prosecute residents who don’t pick up. “I know some people find it funny that with all the problems the city has, we would focus on dog poop,” said an official.

Diversion, after a dedicated graffiti zone was set up at the Great Wall of China, in the hope it would stop visitors from scratching their names on the historic barrier. Most of the graffiti on the wall, said the Chinese media, is in English.

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Trying anything, after growing numbers of drought-afflicted California farmers began hiring dowsers to locate underground water. “Scientists don’t believe in it,” said vintner Marc Mondavi, “but I do and most of the farmers in the [Napa] Valley do.”

Bad week for:

Infallibility, after Pope Francis accidentally cursed in Italian while delivering his weekly blessing at the Vatican, using the word cazzo, the equivalent to the F-bomb, rather than caso, which means “example.”

Mississippi, which has overtaken West Virginia as the fattest state in the union, with an obesity rate of 35.4 percent. Montana had the lowest obesity rate—19.6 percent.

Holy bribery, after the Kentucky Baptist Convention started giving away free steak dinners and guns to encourage “unchurched young rednecks” to come to church and accept Jesus. “Can you picture Jesus giving away guns?’’ asked one disapproving pastor.