Watch The Daily Show remind America's NSA-wiretapped allies that they're jerks, too
The world is upset over revelations that the U.S. is spying on them and their leaders. Get over it, says Jon Stewart.
World leaders are pretty upset about revelations from National Security Agency leaker Edward Snowden suggesting that the U.S. spy agency has monitored their phone conversations. In a 2006 memo just unveiled by The Guardian, the NSA appears to admit to eavesdropping on 35 unidentified world leaders.
If you want to understand why the NSA monitors the communications of world leaders — even of allies like Germany and France — read Marc Ambinder's explanation. (Hint: It's the agency's job.) If you want a more entertaining take, watch Jon Stewart on Thursday night's Daily Show.
Stewart started out with Pakistan, and the allegations from human rights groups that U.S. drones are killing civilians. Things got pretty awkward when Pakistani Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif visited President Obama right after that report came out, Stewart said, and thornier still when Secretary of State John Kerry, visiting France, had to deal with allegations that the U.S. spied on millions of French citizens.
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
It's not really spying, Stewart said, it's just that French phone calls are so sexy that the NSA can't resist listening in. To make his point, he broke out a French accent that sounded more like Speedy Gonzales.
The embarrassment for the White House reached its peak, though, in an uncomfortable phone conversation with German Chancellor Angela Merkel, who called Obama to complain about allegations that the NSA tapped her cellphone. Then there's Mexico, Brazil, and the other 30 or so nations upset about alleged U.S. monitoring of their internal communications. "Awkward," said Stewart.
But here's the thing: "Have you met us?" Stewart asked the world. "Meddling in your affairs for our self-interest is sort of our thing. What part of everything we've done since the Monroe Doctrine don't you get?" In fact, tapping phones is "pretty weak tea," he added — before telling the world that the U.S. is sorry… "sorry that you forgot that we are kind of dicks."
And then Stewart brought down the hammer: "Every nation acts in their own self-interest," and that includes all these whining allies and frenemies. He reminded France that it "handed off the Vietnam War" to America while it invaded Algeria, Pakistan that it requested some of the drone strikes and sheltered Osama bin Laden for years, and Germany… "Do I really have to justify myself to a country that invaded Poland because they thought Poland was looking at them funny?"
Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Don't think of the U.S. as "an overly aggressive, paranoid superpower," Stewart advised. "Think of us as what anyone's looking for in a partner: A good listener. A great listener. The best listener in the history of the world."
Foreign anger over NSA spying isn't Obama's only problem, Stewart noted. Nor is the glitchy rollout of ObamaCare's health-insurance exchange website. The president just fired a high-ranking national security adviser for tweeting rude things under the handle @NatSecWonk. At first Stewart feigned confusion about why Jofi Joseph was canned — "Oh, so it's less Deep Throat and more Gossip Girl," he quipped — but then, after reading some of his awful tweets, he saw the problem.
Still, how did it take the White House so long to figure out the identity of the mystery tweeter, Stewart asked, incredulously. "You can tap the German chancellor's phone, but Bitchy McSnarkeson was three cubicles away and no one knew what's going on?"
Still, Stewart wasn't convinced that kicking Joseph to the curb was the right move. Yes, he's a jerk, but he had a huge Twitter following among Washington's foreign policy elite. That means "someone at the White House knows how to used the internet and give people what they want," Stewart said. So maybe instead of firing the guy, "Maybe they put him in charge of running the ol' HealthCare.gov." Zing!
Create an account with the same email registered to your subscription to unlock access.
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
Why are meteorologists worried Trump could ruin their forecasts?
Today's Big Question How a conservative push to dismantle a little-known government agency could lead to big headaches for anyone hoping to get a handle on their local weather
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US Published
-
'Such wrongdoing encourages foreign corrupt practices'
Instant Opinion Opinion, comment and editorials of the day
By Justin Klawans, The Week US Published
-
Can Japan's new prime minister govern effectively?
In The Spotlight A 'popular gadfly' gets the top job
By Joel Mathis, The Week US Published
-
Will 'weirdly civil' VP debate move dial in US election?
Today's Big Question 'Diametrically opposed' candidates showed 'a lot of commonality' on some issues, but offered competing visions for America's future and democracy
By Harriet Marsden, The Week UK Published
-
1 of 6 'Trump Train' drivers liable in Biden bus blockade
Speed Read Only one of the accused was found liable in the case concerning the deliberate slowing of a 2020 Biden campaign bus
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
How could J.D. Vance impact the special relationship?
Today's Big Question Trump's hawkish pick for VP said UK is the first 'truly Islamist country' with a nuclear weapon
By Harriet Marsden, The Week UK Published
-
Biden, Trump urge calm after assassination attempt
Speed Reads A 20-year-old gunman grazed Trump's ear and fatally shot a rally attendee on Saturday
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Supreme Court rejects challenge to CFPB
Speed Read The court rejected a conservative-backed challenge to the way the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau is funded
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Arizona court reinstates 1864 abortion ban
Speed Read The law makes all abortions illegal in the state except to save the mother's life
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US Published
-
Trump, billions richer, is selling Bibles
Speed Read The former president is hawking a $60 "God Bless the USA Bible"
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
The debate about Biden's age and mental fitness
In Depth Some critics argue Biden is too old to run again. Does the argument have merit?
By Grayson Quay Published