The QT: Texting wordsmiths, Sarah Palin residency suspicions, and more

A veteran journalist, tongue firmly in cheek, riffs on the headlines of the day

Sarah Palin
(Image credit: Scott Olson/Getty Images)

News Headline: "Microsoft helped NSA, FBI access user information"

Critics can be glad it was Microsoft.

The access will soon freeze or shut down for no apparent reason.

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News Headline: "Minnesota town has 4-year-old boy as mayor"

And he calls names and throws tantrums and holds his breath if he doesn't get his way.

No. Wait.

That's the House Tea Party Caucus.



News Headline: "Madonna to be discussed at Polish exorcists meeting"

Finally, a reasonable explanation.


+ Dave Carr, an Owen Sound, Ontario, reader, regarding President Obama's announcement that his favorite food is broccoli, writes:

"Is the broccoli lobby paying part of his celery?"

+ T.R., a Chicago reader, writes:

"We should expect our president to view all vegetables impartially, without fear or fava."

Stop it.

Stop it now.


News Headline: "Can Rick Perry win in 2016?"

News Headline: "Are antibiotics on the farm a risky business?"

News Headline: "Judge in Zimmerman case pressured by Obama administration?"

News Headline: "Do we still need help from Congress on jobs?"

No, yes, no, yes.

Just saving a little space.


News Item:"...the new outlets of communication have made some of us think we are the next Shakespeare when it comes to texting..."

Lord w@ fools deez mortals B.


News Headline: "Sarah Palin: Yes, I'm mulling a Senate run"

News Headline: "Alaska senator: I don't even know if Palin is a resident"

Before this goes any further, we may want to review all her documents.

She has lived "close" to Russia, after all.


QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:

Noel B. Perlman, a Chicago reader, regarding another reader's mention that "comptroller" should be pronounced the same as "controller," writes.

"I watched an interview with Eliot Spitzer, the New York comptroller candidate, and the interviewer repeatedly mispronounced the word. I didn't take note of the way Eliot himself pronounced it, if he did."

QT has done some research.

The candidate, in this regard, did not err.

Which should rhyme with "fur."

As long as we are at it.


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QT appears Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

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Zay N. Smith is a Chicago writer. Before starting the QT column he worked at the Chicago Sun-Times as a reporter, foreign correspondent and writer of major features. He has also worked as a bartender, having played a key role in the 1978 Mirage Tavern investigation, in which the newspaper operated an undercover bar to document the breaking of many laws by many officials.