Feature

The Week contest - Pretentious microbrews

Given the soaring prospects for microbrews, please concoct the most pretentious name for a beer ever

Welcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.

Click here for the results of the previous contest: Dumb bumpers

Last week's contest: Sales of craft beers such as Sweetwater Happy Ending Imperial Stout and Wasatch Polygamy Porter (from Utah) jumped 13 percent last year. Given the soaring prospects for microbrews, we asked you to concoct the most pretentious name for a beer ever. 

RESULTS:

THE WINNER: Vermont Mountain Lakes Shade-Grown Double-Hopped Not Quite Pale AleTM Flynn, Lyndon Center, VT

SECOND PLACE: Rachel's Enviro-Friendly Wheat-Free Wheat BeerGary Hennion, New York, NY

THIRD PLACE: Horst Anderwaggen's Premium Sauerkraut StoutJohn Kirby, Chattanooga, TN 

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Carry My Bags PorterJoe Adiletta, Cambridge, MA

Cannes de BièrePaul Kazee, Schenectady, NY

I-Have-Health-Care-And-You-Don'tLinda Manuel, Stockton, NJ

It's- a-Hops-Thing,-I-Doubt-You'll-UnderstandBob Welch, Minnetonka, MN

Miles, Charlie & Dizzy's Favorite BrewRon Sahatjian, Lexington, MA

Ivy Leaguer LagerAngela James, Westminster, MD

Summa Cum LagerGinny Lord, Oconomowoc, WI

Cask SystemRoni Rork, Humboldt, MA

PourschePaul Witte, New Hope, PA

Dom BeerignonBob Scheibel, Woodland Hills, CA

Dom PerignaleDavid Carpenter, North Hills, CA

Et Tu, Brewtus?Emily Cooper, Hillsborough, NC

Pitcher of Dorian GrayTim Edgerton, Sonora, CA

You Pale in Comparison AleJeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn, VA

Brood in ObscurityMegan Lyons, Sarasota, FL

Believe in Bain BeerEsther Fishman, San Francisco, CA

BudweisestBarb Pollyea, La Mesa, CA

Bud Light UnobtaniumDuncan Seagle, Seattle, WA

The Mother of the King of BeersGary Klein, Pleasantville, NY

Wine!Janet E. Stafford, Oklahoma City, OK

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