The week can't end soon enough for Newt Gingrich. After drawing the Right's ire for calling Rep. Paul Ryan's (R-Wisc.) Medicare voucher plan "right-wing social engineering," the newly declared presidential candidate was dressed down on camera by an Iowa voter, doused in glitter by a gay rights activist, and hounded by reports of a past half-million-dollar jewelry debt. Though many say Gingrich's White House ambitions are now all but dead, Team Gingrich is fighting back. On Wednesday, Gingrich press secretary Rick Tyler fired off a "spectacular anti-media tirade" notable for its curious grandiloquence:
"The literati sent out their minions to do their bidding... They fired timidly at first, then the sheep not wanting to be dropped from the establishment’s cocktail party invite list unloaded their entire clip... A lesser person could not have survived the first few minutes of the onslaught. But out of the billowing smoke and dust of tweets and trivia emerged Gingrich, once again ready to lead those who won’t be intimated by the political elite and are ready to take on the challenges America faces."
As one might expect, Tyler's poetic correspondence has commentators cracking wise. Here, a sampling:
"Narcissism among politicos is hardly a rare disease, but I'm not sure I've ever seen it channeled through a flack in as pure a form," says David Kurtz at Talking Points Memo. Also, note: "Armed sheep with cocktail napkins would have overcome a lesser man than Newt."
Remembrance of Things Past
"Gingrich has managed to alienate virtually the entire party in just a few days," says Jennifer Rubin in The Washington Post. "Gosh, it almost reminds one of his speakership — a lurch from one disaster to another, all having to do with Gingrich's personal failings and undisciplined mouth."
War and Peace
"Tyler's response... [resembles]... a Medieval prologue of a valiant knight heading off to battle," says Michael Calderone at The Huffington Post.
"It's more like an ancient ode, an epic, or something just way more florid and ambitious than you ever come across in transactional daily life." says Rachel Maddow.
Realm of Truth
And "in what sense is Gingrich an outsider?" asks David Weigel at Slate. Last time I checked, he's been living just outside of DC for years, and has appeared on Meet the Press dozens of times. "Without mind-melding with every reporter who wrote about Gingrich this week, I can surmise that he wasn't attacked because he threatened the system, man."