Dave Barry: 2010 was the 'worst year ever'
The humor columnist reviews the last year, month by (awfully funny) month
It's all over now, but looking back, it's clear that 2010 was "in fact, the worst year ever," says Dave Barry in The Washington Post. "The perfect symbol for the awfulness of 2010 was the BP oil spill, which oozed up from the depths and spread, totally out of control, like some kind of hideous uncontrollable metaphor. (Or 'Jersey Shore.')" Summing up 12 horrendous months, Barry even manages to find bleak humor in Bristol Palin's stint on "Dancing with the Stars." Here, an excerpt:
The elections turn out to be a bloodbath for the Democrats, who lose the House of Representatives, a bunch of Senate seats, some governorships, some state legislatures and all of the key student council races. Also, a number of long-term Democratic incumbents are urinated on by their own dogs. Obama immediately departs for a nine-day trip to Asia to see if anybody over there wants to hear about the benefits of health-care reform.
Speaking of health: Some air travelers express concern about radiation from the TSA's new high-resolution scanners, especially after screeners at O'Hare are seen using one to make popcorn. TSA chief John Pistole insists that the scanners are completely safe "as long as you move through quickly." He also assures passengers that their body images "are not saved for any purpose whatsoever, such as entertainment at the TSA Christmas party." Nevertheless, some passengers refuse to be scanned; they are required to undergo a manual procedure that is known, within the agency, as "the full gerbil."