'Skating with the Stars' (you've never heard of)

Not content with the massive success of "Dancing with the Stars," ABC is debuting an icy spin-off called "Skating with the Stars" later this month. (Watch a promo below.) Yesterday the network announced the six "stars" who will be featured on the show: Bethenny Frankel ("The Real Housewives of New York City"), Sean Young (Blade Runner), and rocker Vince Neil — plus Jonny Moseley, Rebecca Budig, and Brandon Mychal Smith. If many of those names don't ring a bell, "you're not alone," says Jenna Mullins at Hollywood Life. The show's star wattage, or lack thereof, has critics and bloggers cracking wise:

The big question

"Is it still considered 'Skating with the Stars' when few people have heard of the contestants?" asks Megan Friedman in Time.

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Rrrrr...

"You know what this means: Sean Young will don the Catwoman costume once again," says Louis Virtel at Movieline. referring to Young's infamous campaign to secure a role in 1989's Batman. "And she will pirouette in it. You will not be treated to that level of delirium on any other reality show."

Theory of relativity

"I'm surprised I am the most famous person, but I guess it's relative," says cast member Sean Young, as quoted in Entertainment Weekly.

Cloris Leachman is looking good...

"At least 'Dancing' has some once-great stars a little late in their careers instead of camera-whores clutching at the coattails of fame," says Caroline Gallay at Culture Map.

History repeats itself

"We hope this one lasts longer... than Fox's 2006 flop, 'Skating with Celebrities,'" says the staff at The Wall Street Journal.

Ripe for comparison

The cast "makes the cast of an average season of 'Dancing With The Stars' look like an entire wax museum full of very very very legitimately famous people," says Linda Holmes at NPR.

Better than the alternatives

"When it comes to winter entertainment, we suppose it beats spending the twilight hours transfixed by a single dying leaf outside your window, contemplating a lifetime of mistakes," says Sean O'Neal at The Onion's A.V. Club.

This is the end

"Dear 'Dancing With The Stars' fans, thanks a lot," says Erika Villalba at Culture Mob. "Your commitment to watching quasi celebrities the likes of The Osmonds, Baby Palin, and The Gosselin Reproductionator 5000 attempt to samba for your amusement hath wrought 'Skating With The Stars,' the natural conclusion to society as we know it."