U.S. Senate candidate Alvin Greene, a "Forrest Gump"-esque unemployed 32-year old who mysteriously prevailed in South Carolina's Democratic primary last spring, was indicted on felony obscenity charges Friday after allegedly showing pornographic photos to a teenage college student. But commentators seem more interested in Greene's subsequent attempt to shoo away a local TV reporter by "howling and wailing" the words "go" and "no" from behind the partially-closed door of his father's home. Greene is such a horrible candidate, says Jim Newell in Gawker, that this "ridiculous" encounter "isn't even a gaffe by his standards." South Carolina's hapless Democrats are begging him to drop out, says Brian Hicks in The Charleston Post and Courier, but they deserve the drubbing they're going to get for letting "a guy with pending felony charges on the ballot without vetting him in the first place." Well, assuming Greene doesn't miraculously win, says Dan Amira at New York Magazine, his now-infamous "noooooo" and "goooooooo" might just land him a "fallback career providing commentary for Latin American soccer matches." Watch the WCNC report below: