Good Week, Bad Week
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Good week for:
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Crossing one off, after a Florida woman explained that she robbed a bank because bank robbery was on her “bucket list.” “I think everyone should have a list of things they want to do before they expire,” said Patricia Edwards, 51, from jail.
Coverups, after Beijing announced it would install 100 giant deodorant cannons at the city’s massive Asuwei dumpsite, following protests from residents about the stench. The cannons will spray several gallons of fragrance a minute over the mounds of putrefying garbage.
The positive impact of climate change, after an uninhabited island in the Bay of Bengal, which had long been claimed by both India and Bangladesh, completely disappeared when it was submerged by the rising sea level, thereby ending the dispute.
Bad week for:
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Honesty, after $100,000 went missing when twice that amount spilled out the back of an armored car in Whitehall, Ohio. Drivers stopped in the middle of the road, jumped out of their cars, and stuffed their pockets with cash.
Social networking, after a British health official warned that he found a fourfold increase in syphilis cases in communities where Facebook was most popular because, he said, online conversations lead to casual sex. The company called the charge “ridiculous.”
Breaking the law outdoors, after a Florida cop used Google Earth to track down a man who illegally dumped his boat on a lot. Older satellite images showed the boat on the man’s property.
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