Michelle Obama’s marital adjustments

last updated 8 January 2015

Michelle Obama acknowledges that her marriage has had its ups and downs, says Jodi Kantor in The New York Times Magazine. After her husband decided to go into politics, starting with a run for the Illinois state Senate, Michelle, a lawyer, helped support the family. She was happy to have her own career, but resented the fact that Barack was so often away, especially after their daughters were born. “This was an eye-opener to me, that marriage is hard,” she says. “Going into it, no one ever tells you that. They just tell you, ‘Do you love him?’ ‘What’s the dress look like?’” As her husband’s political ambitions grew, Michelle put her own career on hold, which created further strain. Moving to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. has brought them closer, but didn’t erase all problems. “The strengths and challenges of our marriage don’t change because we moved to a different address.” First Ladies rarely speak honestly about marital conflict, and her comments challenge the notion of the Obamas’ marriage as a storybook romance. But the image of a flawless marriage, she says, “is the last thing we want to project. It’s unfair to the institution of marriage, and it’s unfair for young people who are trying to build something, to project this perfection that doesn’t exist. Good marriages take work.”