Barbie's victory over Bratz

A courtroom victory helps the classic doll fend off an up-and-coming rival

Christmas came early for moms this year, said Angela Natividad in AdRants. A judge ordered the maker of Bratz dolls—"Barbie's slutty, slummin' store-aisle rival"—to pull the toys out of stores after the holiday season, saying the dolls' designs belonged to Barbie-maker Mattel. The Bratz line has "alienated moms," so this victory for the relatively tame Barbie should thrill parents who have banned the "juicy-lipped" Bratz from the homes.

"Whomph," said recording artist David Byrne on his Web site, "the competition is eliminated in one fell swoop." The "slutty 'ethnic'" Bratz dolls were on fire and threatening to "crowd out the tall white chick" before the law stepped in. "Do we have a metaphor for immigration attitudes (and policies) here or what?"

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