It must be true ... I read it in the tabloids

last updated 8 January 2015

A Missouri man has been arrested on charges of possessing a hallucinogenic toad. Police say that David Theiss, 21, was planning to get high by licking the venom glands of a Colorado River Toad found in his possession. The venom contains hallucinogenic chemicals, but it’s also poisonous enough to kill small animals. “People used to [lick the toad’s glands] all the time,” said animal expert Danny Snyder. “It faded out, but came back as a fad—not a smart one.’’

Chinese doctors are warning their countrymen not to try to imitate the acrobatic sex scenes in the movie Lust, Caution, lest they suffer “unnecessary physical harm.” Director Ang Lee’s drama about a passionate affair during World War II is very popular in China, and moviegoers have flooded to Hong Kong to see the uncensored version. “Most of the sexual maneuvers are in abnormal body positions,” warned hospital official Yu Zao. “Only women that have gymnastics or yoga experience are able to perform them.”

Disneyland is facing an epidemic of people scattering family members’ ashes on their favorite rides. The latest incident occurred last week, when a woman was caught sprinkling a powdery substance into the water at the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Last month, several piles of ashes were found along the tracks at the Haunted Mansion ride. Disney officials say they haven’t confirmed finding any human remains, but insiders say that ash-scattering is now so common that custodians have been issued special vacuums to remove suspicious piles.