58 all out: England humiliated on first day of Test in New Zealand

Dismal, embarrassing, humiliated: just three of the words used by cricket writers to describe England’s batting performance on the opening day of the first Test match against New Zealand.

The tourists were skittled out for just 58 at Eden Park in Auckland – their sixth lowest Test total ever – as New Zealand took command of the match. After bowling out England in 20.4 overs, the Kiwis closed the day on 175-3 to take a 117-run lead into day two with seven wickets remaining.

Following a 4-0 thrashing by Australia in the Ashes Test series, England captain Joe Root was confident his side could hit back and end their winter tour on a high against New Zealand. But today’s batting performance means England have a huge uphill struggle ahead of them in the day-night Test.

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Five players – Root, Ben Stokes, Jonny Bairstow, Moeen Ali and Stuart Broad – were all dismissed for ducks as England equalled an unwanted record.

Kiwi bowlers Trent Boult (6-32) and Tim Southee (4-25) inflicted the damage with the ball before Kane Williamson ended the day unbeaten on 91. The only positive for England was Broad claiming his 400th wicket with the dismissal of Tom Latham.

Speaking on BBC Test Match Special, former England spin bowler Graeme Swann said the performance was “awful from ball one”. Swann added: “Too many were out playing airy fairy drives. It was a perfect storm and it felt unstoppable. It felt like there was going to be a wicket every ball.”

Jonathan Agnew, the BBC cricket correspondent, added: “You have to look at the lack of preparation. This is rusty. Alastair Cook was out lambing on his farm a few weeks ago. Don’t blame the conditions. Don’t blame the pink ball. There were a lot of mistakes made by England’s batsmen. Nearly all the batsmen are walking after playing a shot. These are technical errors. It’s loose cricket.”

The Daily Telegraph’s Scyld Berry called the opening session “amazing” and described England’s batting as “pitiful”. “They batted with flabbergasting feebleness and the naivety of schoolboys without a coach,” said Berry.

Quoted by The Guardian, England head coach Trevor Baylis said that his side’s batting collapse “must have been a mental thing” and the performance wasn’t good enough. “We certainly didn’t bat very well this morning,” said Baylis. “They bowled extremely well but we batted extremely poorly.

“Today we’re not just off a little bit, we’re off a lot. It just wasn’t good enough. There were good [bowling] conditions this morning, a little bit of green grass, but nothing out of the ordinary that you wouldn’t expect on the first day of a Test match. We need to come out and have a good day tomorrow, hopefully knock them over for as little as possible and then bat big.”

The second day of the first Test will start tomorrow at 1am UK time.

How Twitter responded to England’s incredible collapse:

April fools?

Sweet revenge for New Zealand.

Something needs to change.

Where the score ranks in England’s Test history.

The best thing about England’s 58…