Book reviews: ‘Stay Alive: Berlin, 1939-1945’ and ‘Adult Braces’

‘Stay Alive: Berlin, 1939-1945’ by Ian Buruma

“Dictators thrive not on love but on indifference,” said Kevin Peraino in The New York Times. That’s the underlying message of Ian Buruma’s “crisply told and uncomfortably relevant” new history of wartime Berlin. The veteran author and journalist has pulled from letters, diaries, interviews with aging survivors, and many other sources to chart how life and behavior shifted in the German capital from 1939 to 1945. During most of those years, “Berliners turned looking away into an art form,” first by flocking to concerts and movies as if nothing had changed, later by ignoring the danger of Allied air raids while filling soccer stadiums. Jewish citizens had no such choice, of course, though not because their neighbors were all committed Nazis. Buruma’s book, by detailing the moral compromises they made, mounts “a passionate challenge to the corrosive power of indifference.”

The book’s diary-style structure “lets Buruma incorporate a wide variety of viewpoints,” said Elizabeth Kolbert in The New Yorker. “Students, Nazi maidens, and members of the resistance are all allowed to speak for themselves,” and we see both the hard choices some people had to make and how prone others are to evasions. British bombing of the city of 4.3 million began in August 1940. By that point, the 80,000 or so Jewish residents who hadn’t fled were being herded into segregated housing. A year later, deportations were escalating, and one elderly Jewish woman is quoted as saying that in every subsequent encounter with an acquaintance, the first question asked was “Are you going to commit suicide, or will you let them deport you?” By 1944, when much of the city lay in ruins, the terror spread. Nazi “snatch squads” began roaming the streets, shooting or hanging citizens deemed to be “defeatists.”

“Of course, no descent into moral darkness is total,” said Katja Hoyer
in the Financial Times. Buruma finds a few heroes, including a woman
who ran a resistance group and who spent the last days of the war roaming the streets surreptitiously scribbling “Nein”—“no” to Hitler’s
entire project—on walls and houses. More typical is Buruma’s own Dutch father, Leo, one of hundreds of thousands of citizens of nations occupied by Germany who were forced to work in Berlin. Twenty-year-old Leo didn’t support the Nazis, but he enjoyed the aspects of city life that he could, and was left burdened with guilt. Though the author is sympathetic, he admits that his father made compromises to survive. And though he calls his book a love letter to Berlin, “the depressing moral of Stay Alive is that most people don’t challenge the circumstances they find themselves in. They adapt to them.”

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‘Adult Braces: Driving Myself Sane’ by Lindy West

“What Lindy West has signed up for with Adult Braces is a horror show,”
said Scaachi Koul in Slate. Among her many readers, there will be plenty telling her loudly, via Instagram or otherwise, that she is stupid or weak or tragic to have chosen to live with her husband in a throuple after discovering that he’d secretly acquired two girlfriends—one permanently.
Not that West’s decision is news to her fans, many who were following her online well before she scored a huge hit with her fat-and-proud-of-it 2016 memoir, Shrill. West, husband Aham, and their partner, Roya, announced the arrangement in a video in 2022. But Adult Braces, West’s fourth book, details how she moved from being angry to accepting a new living arrangement, and because it’s her most personal public self-examination, it’s “also the most brutal to bear witness to.”

West clearly wasn’t happy when she learned that Aham wanted a second woman in his life, said Tyler Austin Harper in The Atlantic. In fact, “most of Adult Braces is spent describing the road trip West took from Seattle to Florida and back again to process her devastation.” And although she insists she’s found contentment in the life the three now share, “what she tells us is often disconcerting.” Rather than being the caring person West says he is, Aham appears “manipulative and sleazy,” lying about his other relationships and then guilting West into polyamory by implying that she, as a white woman, might be less sensitive than he, as a Black man, is to the way monogamy acts as a form of slavery.

West’s book proves to be “a sightseeing guide for polyamorous red flags,” starting with Aham’s behavior, said Ashley Ray in Harper’s Bazaar. West also mistakenly believes that she is being more righteously progressive by agreeing to be part of a throuple. When West and Roya eventually strike up an amorous relationship, West makes sure we know that hot, skinny Roya developed a crush on her. Still, Adult Braces isn’t about the birth of an unusual admirable romantic relationship. “It’s about West’s difficult journey to put her life back together around the person who tore it apart in the first place.”