“Inconvenience is the cost of community” has become an online mantra amid debate about the effort required to maintain connections and whether it’s worth the bother. Arguments are raging about “sacrifice” and “what we actually ‘owe’ each other,” said Maybelle Morgan at Dazed, as people ponder how often they should put others first.
‘Protect your peace’ Not long ago, the saying “protect your peace” was rife on social media, said Morgan. The focus was on “stress-free” living and “limiting exposure” to challenging situations, and we were encouraged to “say ‘no’ to things, set boundaries, cut off people who ‘trauma-dump’ and religiously practice self-care.” But this motto promotes “avoidance rather than tools for healthier connection” and appears to reflect a wider trend.
Global emotional intelligence has declined by 6%, according to a study published in the journal Frontiers in Psychology that analyzed data from 166 countries between 2019 and 2024. The modern lifestyle has “optimized away the inconveniences that create interdependence,” leaving some people “incapable of handling difference,” said psychology scholar Andrea Carter at The Conversation. Digital platforms have exacerbated this voluntary segregation. Most of us look at “belief-aligned feeds” that reflect our attitudes and avoid the “discomfort that growth requires.”
‘Prioritizing emotional wellness’ Even close relationships can be affected. In North America, 130 million people are estranged from a relative, according to The Harris Poll, which tracks trends in the U.S.
Dating is also becoming harder, said Hena Bryan at Glamour. Women are “prioritizing emotional wellness” and establishing “firm boundaries.” With many men “refusing the emotional work that makes relationships thrive,” women are deciding that “being alone is often safer and more fulfilling than dating someone unwilling, or unable, to meet them halfway.”
But the effort is worth it, according to an 80-year study by Harvard University. The “quality of our relationships” helps us live “longer, happier” lives, according to the research, said Morgan. Inconvenience is an “investment,” psychotherapist Kamalyn Kaur said to Dazed. Community “provides the grounding force of being seen, known and supported” through life’s ups and downs. There’s “space in our lives for both self-care and community care.” |