Speed Reads

Last Night on Late Night

Trevor Noah and Jimmy Kimmel credit U.S. anti-vaxxers for Biden's big global COVID-19 vaccine donation

As the COVID-19 pandemic winds down, "people are also traveling again," Stephen Colbert said on Thursday's Late Show. "For instance, one senior tourist is seeing the sites of Europe." President Biden met with British Prime Minister Boris Johnson in England ahead of this week's G-7 summit, and he announced  the U.S. will donate 500,000 Pfizer vaccine doses to 92 countries, he noted. "Okay, Biden just proved he's Irish: He's on vacation, he's feeling good, and he's buying shots for everybody."

Biden's big vaccine donation is "based on an old American foreign policy strategy that used to be called being nice," Jimmy Kimmel said on Kimmel Live. "And by the way, if we're looking to give away stuff Americans aren't gonna use, we could probably donate about 5 million Pelotons, too."

"I think when someone in another country gets one of our doses, they should be told whose vaccine they got," Kimmel suggested. "Like, 'This Johnson & Johnson was supposed to go to a retired elementary school teacher in Florida, but she read on Facebook it was made from demon sperm, so now it's yours! De nada.'"

Yes, "let me be the first to say, on behalf of the international community: Thank you to all the anti-vaxxers in America," Trevor Noah deadpanned at The Daily Show. "The people of the world would not have these vaccines if it wasn't for your commitment to believe in whatever the dumbest guy from your middle school posted on Facebook. You guys are the real heroes."

Biden and Johnson are also "updating the Atlantic Charter that was first signed back in 1941, and both sides got some concessions," Noah said. "The U.K. agreed to limit the number of royal refugees that they'll send to the U.S., and in exchange the U.S. agreed to start putting the letter 'u' back into words again."

"Biden and Johnson are getting a lot done," Jimmy Fallon said at The Tonight Show. "Today they launched a task force to reopen travel between the U.S. and the U.K. When they heard that, Harry and Meghan were like, 'You can try all you want.'" 

"Biden and Johnson met at the site of this week's G-7, and right across the street an artist built a sculpture of the seven leaders made out of electronic trash and called it Mt. Recycle-more," Fallon said. "It's kind of sad Trump couldn't even get his face on Mt. Recycle-more."