‘Asparagus psychic’ predicts trouble for Harry and Meghan

A psychic who uses asparagus to see into the future has predicted that Prince Harry will return the UK next year, unaccompanied by wife Meghan. After throwing asparagus into the air, Jemima Packington, 64, the world’s only asparamancer, said: “What we have here, very interesting, is the letter H. We have two spears plus a crossbar here. I don't see any M at all whatsoever. I see no letter M but I do see letter H coming into the fold.”

Bid for your chance to destroy Trump’s casino

Atlantic City is auctioning the chance to dynamite a casino formerly owned by Donald Trump. The Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City went bankrupt and shut in 2014. A bidding process will determine who gets the right to hit the button that will destroy the 39-floor casino, with proceeds going to charity. The mayor said his office has already been “bombarded” with phone calls about the auction.

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Man jailed for jet-skiing to his girlfriend

A Scotsman has been jailed for riding a jet ski across the Irish Sea to spend some time with his girlfriend. Dale McLaughlan, 28, was sentenced to four weeks in prison for the 25-mile journey from Scotland’s Isle of Whithorn to the Isle of Man, after his trip was found to break coronavirus rules. “The craziest thing is he can’t even swim,” said a relative, adding that he’s a “nice lad but thick as a brick”.