If you were ever wondering about Ricky Gervais' personal life, David Letterman has you covered. On The Late Show, the British comedian cracked up when Letterman asked him if he ever married "that woman," meaning (we soon find out) his girlfriend of about 30 years. Letterman, who has one son, then asked if Gervais ever planned on marrying his girlfriend (no) and if they'll ever have kids. "I've got a cat," Gervais starts, before laying out his views on children and parenting: "Kids are sponges — they don't give you anything back."
Gervais is apparently talking about money, and he urges Letterman (whom he calls Ken, maybe?) to travel with him to Mexico and just throw money out from their cars. That's not a bad idea, but what does it have to do with child-rearing? It's not like you can't refuse to leave your high-dollar entertainer's fortune to your children (see: Hoffman, Seymour Hoffman). Watch Gervais' (anti-)parenting advice below. --Peter Weber