Proof the New York Times style section has been trolling us all along

"You can fit any physical objects in a bindle," Josiah said. "But bindles are really meant for your hopes and your dreams."

"Don't worry," Ms. Simon Frost added when we were back inside, where other dogs were undergoing interviews. "Your dog will get into a good college."

Next I told Rich: "I could also use some mustache counseling. My boyfriend has been growing a 'stache and I want to be supportive." Rich looked confused. I said, "Well, it is sort of like having a small, hairy new pet in the home." Rich counseled: Enjoy the 'stache. Honor the 'stache.

"For some reason when you go to a restaurant and they have a kale salad on the menu, you automatically accept that it's a cool spot," said Chelsea Leyland, a D.J. and downtown fixture. "It's like playing the right music of the moment. It gives it that stamp of coolness."

"Women tend to be more overtly expressive in language," he said. "But something women start in language has a way of making it to men. Men would benefit from using emoji more."

Ms. Carpenter stressed that there was nothing sinister or cultlike about the group. "We're not 'Helter Skelter,'" she said. "But there's a bond between us. Calling ourselves witches is cool because witches used to be shunned."

"One woman came in to get them done because she was going on a family vacation and wanted to freak out her in-laws," Ms. Hunt said.

"I got it just to have my own style, bring something new to the table," said Jose Vega, 23, an aspiring Miami rap musician who can be seen sporting a monocle on his SoundCloud page. "Also, I'm nearsighted."