Stephen Colbert has a trippy plan to defeat ISIS
The U.S. Air Force may be almost out of bombs, Stephen Colbert said on Monday's Late Show, after firing 20,000 missiles and bombs at the Islamic State in Syria alone. "And 20,000 sounds like a lot to me," Colbert said, "so I'm beginning to think that just bombing might not work." He had a theory about what makes ISIS bomb-proof: drugs. It turns out, lots of ISIS fighters are apparently hooked on Captagon — or "jihadderall," he quipped — a happy-pill amphetamine that makes you feel safe and invincible. "It makes you feel as if nothing can harm you," Colbert said. "Well, I think I speak for everyone watching the news lately when I say, Can I have some?"
According to the FBI, lots of ISIS fighters were already unstable drug addicts when ISIS recruited them — something al Qaeda would never do. And "now that we know they like the go-go pills, I think that gives us a clear path to victory against ISIS," Colbert said. "We just need to flood Syria with less of the spiders-on-your-face-stabby drugs, and more of the peace-and-love drugs." Specifically, that means dropping massive amounts of ecstasy in ISIS territory, then "carpet-bomb them with pacifiers and glow sticks." There are probably worse ideas, but don't worry: If that doesn't work, Colbert has a Plan B. Watch below. Peter Weber
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
The Spanish cop, 20 million euros and 13 tonnes of cocaine
In the Spotlight Óscar Sánchez Gil, Chief Inspector of Spain's Economic and Tax Crimes Unit, has been arrested for drug trafficking
By The Week UK Published
-
5 hilarious cartoons about the rise and fall of Matt Gaetz
Cartoons Artists take on age brackets, backbiting, and more
By The Week US Published
-
The future of X
Talking Point Trump's ascendancy is reviving the platform's coffers, whether or not a merger is on the cards
By The Week UK Published
-
Jussie Smollet conviction overturned on appeal
Speed Read The Illinois Supreme Court overturned the actor's conviction on charges of staging a racist and homophobic attack against himself in 2019
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Quincy Jones, music icon, is dead at 91
Speed Read The legendary producer is perhaps best known as the architect behind Michael Jackson's 'Thriller'
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
OJ Simpson, star athlete tried for murder, dead at 76
Speed Read The former football hero and murder suspect lost his battle with cancer
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US Published
-
Momofuku's 'Chili Crunch' trademark uproar
Speed Read The company's attempt to own the sole rights has prompted backlash
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US Published
-
Kevin Hart awarded Mark Twain Prize
Speed Read He is the 25th recipient of the prestigious comedy prize
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Is Downton Abbey set to return for a final film?
Speed Read Imelda Staunton reveals that a third movie may be in the pipeline
By Adrienne Wyper, The Week UK Published
-
'Oppenheimer' sweeps Oscars with 7 wins
speed read The film won best picture, best director (Christopher Nolan) and best actor (Cillian Murphy)
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
'Rust' armorer convicted of manslaughter
speed read The film's cinematographer Halyna Hutchins was shot and killed by actor Alec Baldwin during rehearsal
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published