The U.S. Air Force may be almost out of bombs, Stephen Colbert said on Monday's Late Show, after firing 20,000 missiles and bombs at the Islamic State in Syria alone. "And 20,000 sounds like a lot to me," Colbert said, "so I'm beginning to think that just bombing might not work." He had a theory about what makes ISIS bomb-proof: drugs. It turns out, lots of ISIS fighters are apparently hooked on Captagon — or "jihadderall," he quipped — a happy-pill amphetamine that makes you feel safe and invincible. "It makes you feel as if nothing can harm you," Colbert said. "Well, I think I speak for everyone watching the news lately when I say, Can I have some?"
According to the FBI, lots of ISIS fighters were already unstable drug addicts when ISIS recruited them — something al Qaeda would never do. And "now that we know they like the go-go pills, I think that gives us a clear path to victory against ISIS," Colbert said. "We just need to flood Syria with less of the spiders-on-your-face-stabby drugs, and more of the peace-and-love drugs." Specifically, that means dropping massive amounts of ecstasy in ISIS territory, then "carpet-bomb them with pacifiers and glow sticks." There are probably worse ideas, but don't worry: If that doesn't work, Colbert has a Plan B. Watch below. Peter Weber
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