Stephen Colbert mocks armed Oregon occupiers for requesting conditioner, French Vanilla creamer
We are in Week 2 of the occupation of Oregon's Malheur National Wildlife Refuge by Ammon Bundy and his armed group of anti-government protesters, Stephen Colbert said on Tuesday's Late Show, and the occupiers appear to be running low on supplies. They have put out a request for certain items, Colbert said, "so if you want to contribute to the anti-government group, just mail them supplies, and they will try to ignore the fact that it was delivered by a federal employee."
Colbert then turned to the items on the list, which include hamburgers, hot dogs, eggs, and other, arguably less-essential goods, like hair conditioner. "Yes, shampoo and conditioner," Colbert said, "because it's one thing to face off against the jack-booted thugs of a tyrannical government, it's another to have to fight the frizzies." They also want throw rugs and pillow cases, he added, but perhaps most entertainingly, these "rugged men o' the land" are pleading for French Vanilla creamer.
If the Bundy gang gets desperate, there's one last "slim possibility" for how they could get supplies, Colbert noted: "It turns out they're not surrounded, and there is absolutely no police presence, so they can come and go as they please." He offered them Google Maps directions to the closest Safeway, ending with some sage advice: "Do not give into the tyranny of the 10 Items or Less lane. Remember, freedom isn't free — and the French Vanilla creamer is, like, $2.99 a bottle." Watch below. Peter Weber
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
Beyoncé, Kendrick Lamar take top Grammys
Speed Read Beyoncé took home album of the year for 'Cowboy Carter' and Kendrick Lamar's diss track 'Not Like Us' won five awards
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Trump tariffs on Canada, Mexico, China rattle markets
Speed read The tariffs on America's top three trading partners are expected to raise the prices of everything from gas and cars to tomatoes and tequila
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Elon Musk operatives access US payment system, aid
Speed Read The Trump administration has given Musk's team access to the Treasury payment system, allowing him to track and control government spending
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Beyoncé, Kendrick Lamar take top Grammys
Speed Read Beyoncé took home album of the year for 'Cowboy Carter' and Kendrick Lamar's diss track 'Not Like Us' won five awards
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
The Louvre is giving 'Mona Lisa' her own room
Speed Read The world's most-visited art museum is getting a major renovation
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Honda and Nissan in merger talks
Speed Read The companies are currently Japan's second and third-biggest automakers, respectively
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Taylor Swift wraps up record-shattering Eras tour
Speed Read The pop star finally ended her long-running tour in Vancouver, Canada
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Drake claims illegal boosting, defamation
Speed Read The rapper accused Universal Music of boosting Kendrick Lamar's diss track and said UMG allowed him to be falsely accused of pedophilia
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US Published
-
'Wicked' and 'Gladiator II' ignite holiday box office
Speed Read The combination of the two movies revitalized a struggling box office
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Jussie Smollet conviction overturned on appeal
Speed Read The Illinois Supreme Court overturned the actor's conviction on charges of staging a racist and homophobic attack against himself in 2019
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Quincy Jones, music icon, is dead at 91
Speed Read The legendary producer is perhaps best known as the architect behind Michael Jackson's 'Thriller'
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published