Stephen Colbert's Colbert Report character 'will never be seen again'

Stephen Colbert is no longer allowed to play Stephen Colbert. Or at least not that Stephen Colbert, the hilarious conservative patriot of Comedy Central's The Colbert Report. After Colbert broke out the old Colbert character in a version of "The Word" on CBS's Late Show, apparently Comedy Central got in touch to say they own the "intellectual property" of Stephen Colbert. The character, that is.

"Which, is surprising, because I never thought of that guy as much of an intellectual. So it is with a heavy heart that I announce that thanks to corporate lawyers, the character of Stephen Colbert, host of The Colbert Report, will never be seen again," Colbert told his audience to loud boos. "The lawyers have spoken. I cannot reasonably argue that I own my face or name."

But fear not — Colbert might have found a loophole. He introduced the audience to Stephen Colbert's identical twin cousin, Stephen Colbert. "Our moms were identical twins, who married identical twin husbands, then had sex at the exact same moment and gave us the same name," Stephen Colbert (the twin) explained.

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Confused? Let the Stephen Colberts explain it all, below. Jeva Lange