Stephen Colbert has a 'polite reminder' for all you poll obsessives out there


"With less than eight days until early voting starts, Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are tied in the polls — which means no matter who you support, you're pretty upset," Stephen Colbert said on Thursday's Late Show. To calm everyone down, he offered a "polite reminder" about the polls. "A tie between the candidates around this time in the campaign has happened in every election of this century," Colbert said. "Romney and Obama were tied around now. Obama and John McCain were tied on Sept. 17, two days from now. George W. Bush and Al Gore are still tied — one of them won the vote, the other won the presidency, it's even." So put down the suicide tools, he said. "A late-breaking tie is almost as inevitable as you thought Hillary was."
Reminder complete, Colbert made a brief but incisive dig at the undecided voters: "How can you still be unsure? That's like saying, 'Hmm, what do I want for breakfast, Cheerios or a bowl of hornets?'" Just as he appeared to be warming into something Colbert launched into.... an infomercial for a national iced tea brand. Man gotta eat. But watch at least the first half below. Peter Weber
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.

Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
Economists fear US inflation data less reliable
speed read The Labor Department is collecting less data for its consumer price index due to staffing shortages
-
Crypto firm Coinbase hacked, faces SEC scrutiny
Speed Read The Securities and Exchange Commission has also been investigating whether Coinbase misstated its user numbers in past disclosures
-
Starbucks baristas strike over dress code
speed read The new uniform 'puts the burden on baristas' to buy new clothes, said a Starbucks Workers United union delegate
-
Warren Buffet announces surprise retirement
speed read At the annual meeting of Berkshire Hathaway, the billionaire investor named Vice Chairman Greg Abel his replacement
-
Trump calls Amazon's Bezos over tariff display
Speed Read The president was not happy with reports that Amazon would list the added cost from tariffs alongside product prices
-
Markets notch worst quarter in years as new tariffs loom
Speed Read The S&P 500 is on track for its worst month since 2022 as investors brace for Trump's tariffs
-
Tesla Cybertrucks recalled over dislodging panels
Speed Read Almost every Cybertruck in the US has been recalled over a stainless steel panel that could fall off
-
Crafting emporium Joann is going out of business
Speed Read The 82-year-old fabric and crafts store will be closing all 800 of its stores