"With less than eight days until early voting starts, Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are tied in the polls — which means no matter who you support, you're pretty upset," Stephen Colbert said on Thursday's Late Show. To calm everyone down, he offered a "polite reminder" about the polls. "A tie between the candidates around this time in the campaign has happened in every election of this century," Colbert said. "Romney and Obama were tied around now. Obama and John McCain were tied on Sept. 17, two days from now. George W. Bush and Al Gore are still tied — one of them won the vote, the other won the presidency, it's even." So put down the suicide tools, he said. "A late-breaking tie is almost as inevitable as you thought Hillary was."
Reminder complete, Colbert made a brief but incisive dig at the undecided voters: "How can you still be unsure? That's like saying, 'Hmm, what do I want for breakfast, Cheerios or a bowl of hornets?'" Just as he appeared to be warming into something Colbert launched into.... an infomercial for a national iced tea brand. Man gotta eat. But watch at least the first half below. Peter Weber
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
Create an account with the same email registered to your subscription to unlock access.
-
Taliban's quest for tourists to see the wonders of AfghanistanUnder The Radar Troubled country wants to become a 'tourism powerhouse' – but how safe is it?
-
Magazine solutions - May 17, 2024Puzzles and Quizzes Issue - May 17, 2024
-
Magazine printables - May 17, 2024Puzzles and Quizzes Issue - May 17, 2024
-
Empty-nest boomers aren't selling their big homesSpeed Read Most Americans 60 and older do not intend to move, according to a recent survey
-
Brazil accuses Musk of 'disinformation campaign'Speed Read A Brazilian Supreme Court judge has opened an inquiry into Elon Musk and X
-
Disney board fends off Peltz infiltration bidSpeed Read Disney CEO Bob Iger has defeated activist investor Nelson Peltz in a contentious proxy battle
-
Disney and DeSantis reach detenteSpeed Read The Florida governor and Disney settle a yearslong litigation over control of the tourism district
-
Visa and Mastercard agree to lower swipe feesSpeed Read The companies will cap the fees they charge businesses when customers use their credit cards
-
Reddit IPO values social media site at $6.4 billionSpeed Read The company makes its public debut on the New York Stock Exchange
-
Housing costs: the root of US economic malaise?speed read Many voters are troubled by the housing affordability crisis
-
Feds cap credit card late fees at $8speed read The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau finalized a rule to save households an estimated $10 billion a year
