"With less than eight days until early voting starts, Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are tied in the polls — which means no matter who you support, you're pretty upset," Stephen Colbert said on Thursday's Late Show. To calm everyone down, he offered a "polite reminder" about the polls. "A tie between the candidates around this time in the campaign has happened in every election of this century," Colbert said. "Romney and Obama were tied around now. Obama and John McCain were tied on Sept. 17, two days from now. George W. Bush and Al Gore are still tied — one of them won the vote, the other won the presidency, it's even." So put down the suicide tools, he said. "A late-breaking tie is almost as inevitable as you thought Hillary was."
Reminder complete, Colbert made a brief but incisive dig at the undecided voters: "How can you still be unsure? That's like saying, 'Hmm, what do I want for breakfast, Cheerios or a bowl of hornets?'" Just as he appeared to be warming into something Colbert launched into.... an infomercial for a national iced tea brand. Man gotta eat. But watch at least the first half below. Peter Weber
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
-
Tesla Cybertrucks recalled over dislodging panelsSpeed Read Almost every Cybertruck in the US has been recalled over a stainless steel panel that could fall off
-
Crafting emporium Joann is going out of businessSpeed Read The 82-year-old fabric and crafts store will be closing all 800 of its stores
-
Trump's China tariffs start after Canada, Mexico pausesSpeed Read The president paused his tariffs on America's closest neighbors after speaking to their leaders, but his import tax on Chinese goods has taken effect
-
Chinese AI chatbot's rise slams US tech stocksSpeed Read The sudden popularity of a new AI chatbot from Chinese startup DeepSeek has sent U.S. tech stocks tumbling
-
US port strike averted with tentative labor dealSpeed Read The strike could have shut down major ports from Texas to Maine
-
Biden expected to block Japanese bid for US SteelSpeed Read The president is blocking the $14 billion acquisition of U.S. Steel by Japan's Nippon Steel, citing national security concerns
-
Judges block $25B Kroger-Albertsons mergerSpeed Read The proposed merger between the supermarket giants was stalled when judges overseeing two separate cases blocked the deal
-
Rupert Murdoch loses 'Succession' court battleSpeed Read Murdoch wanted to give full control of his empire to son Lachlan, ensuring Fox News' right-wing editorial slant
