Late Show

The Late Show doesn't always cover global events, "but you see the news, it's a dangerous world," Stephen Colbert said Tuesday night. "Every day, tensions are rising between the United States and our sworn enemy, Canada: Cold Mexico, the Great White North Korea." On Monday night, Trump announced that he was slapping a 20 percent tariff on Canadian softwood lumber. "As far as I know, this is the first time anyone has rejected Justin Trudeau's wood," Colbert joked, noting Canada's relatively fiery response. "For those keeping score at home, Trump is now a friend of Putin and an enemy of poutine."

"That's Donald Trump on the international stage — rare, because since becoming president, Donald Trump has not left the country; he's barely left the country club," Colbert said. But he did send daughter Ivanka to Berlin on Tuesday to attend a women's conference, "making her the first Trump to attend a women's conference that didn't include a swimsuit competition." She was not greeted warmly, at least when she mentioned her father. But things aren't going great for Ivanka back home, either, he said. "They've had trouble moving Ivanka's line of clothing, so they secretly relabeled it as Adrianne Vittadini. That's how unpopular the Trump name is right now: Her clothing has been put in the witness protection program." He suggested the entire Trump White House could undergo a similar rebranding. Meet President Enrico Vittadini below. Peter Weber