Speed Reads

The Daily Showdown

Trevor Noah looks at what stands between DREAMers and deportation, and it isn't pretty

Everybody can claim a win from the short government shutdown over the weekend, Trevor Noah said on Tuesday's Daily Show. Democrats got six years of CHIP funding, "campaign ads for the midterms," and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell's suspect pinky-promise to hold a vote on legislation to protect DREAMers, he said, while Republicans got Democrats to back down with just a flimsy promise and also snuck in $30 billion in additional tax cuts. The only ones who demonstrably didn't win were the DREAMers, the focus of the whole shutdown.

"They came away from the shutdown worse than before," Noah said. Before this "became about winning and losing," Republicans at least said they believe DACA recipients deserve to stay in the U.S., he showed, "but once the shutdown became about scoring political points, suddenly Republican leaders turned these people from 'DREAMers to 'illegals.'" Democrats, meanwhile, have repeatedly and disingenuously "promised the DREAMers more than they can deliver," he noted, because they don't have any power in Washington.

"And this is what sucks for DREAMers about this whole situation," Noah said. "You're six weeks away from being deported to a country you've never known, and now the only thing that stands between you and an answer is a man with more broken promises than chins." Watch that — plus Noah's impersonation of McConnell the Player and explanation for why Kermit the Frog is clearly a Republican — below. Peter Weber