Stephen Colbert is pretty sure he knows how the Senate's Kavanaugh-Ford testimony will go

Stephen Colbert previews Monday hearing
(Image credit: Screenshot/YouTube/The Late Show)

It's starting to look like Christine Blasey Ford, the woman who says Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh tried to rape her in high school, might testify next week, though probably not on Monday, the date set by Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa). The "geriatric meerkat" Grassley has also scotched Ford's request that the FBI investigate her allegations, saying "it's not the FBI's role to investigate a matter such as this," Stephen Colbert noted on Thursday's Late Show. "Of course not, I mean it's right there in their name: the Federal Bureau of I-don't-know-what-that-last-letter-stands-for."

Grassley set a 10 a.m. Friday deadline for Ford to decide if she will testify Monday, and Colbert said that makes sense. "The U.S. Senate is known for two things: moving at lightning speed, and not caring what abused women have to say about Supreme Court nominees." He pantomimed what he imagined Monday's hearing would look like, complete with 5-second countdown clock. Monday is "a totally artificial deadline that they are setting for themselves," he reminded the audience. "It's like when you say to your friend, 'Okay, if we're not married by the time we're 30, we'll meet up and confirm an accused sexual predator to the Supreme Court. At least we won't be lonely.'"

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Peter Weber, The Week US

Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.