It's starting to look like Christine Blasey Ford, the woman who says Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh tried to rape her in high school, might testify next week, though probably not on Monday, the date set by Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa). The "geriatric meerkat" Grassley has also scotched Ford's request that the FBI investigate her allegations, saying "it's not the FBI's role to investigate a matter such as this," Stephen Colbert noted on Thursday's Late Show. "Of course not, I mean it's right there in their name: the Federal Bureau of I-don't-know-what-that-last-letter-stands-for."
Grassley set a 10 a.m. Friday deadline for Ford to decide if she will testify Monday, and Colbert said that makes sense. "The U.S. Senate is known for two things: moving at lightning speed, and not caring what abused women have to say about Supreme Court nominees." He pantomimed what he imagined Monday's hearing would look like, complete with 5-second countdown clock. Monday is "a totally artificial deadline that they are setting for themselves," he reminded the audience. "It's like when you say to your friend, 'Okay, if we're not married by the time we're 30, we'll meet up and confirm an accused sexual predator to the Supreme Court. At least we won't be lonely.'"
Meanwhile, President Trump has ordered the declassification of sensitive documents relating to the ongoing federal investigation of his presidential campaign, despite warnings from the intelligence community that doing so would jeopardize U.S. intelligence assets. "But he's the president, and I would certainly hope he has a good reason," Colbert said. "But I would certainly be wrong," because Trump says he hasn't reviewed the documents and he's releasing them because Fox News pundits begged him to, including "the great Lou Dobbs, the great Sean Hannity, the wonderful, great Jeanine Pirro." Colbert had some thoughts. Watch below. Peter Weber