Thursday was a very "divisive day in America," Stephen Colbert said at The Late Show, pointing to — what else? — the dueling Senate testimony of Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh and one of the women accusing him of sexual assault, Christine Blasey Ford. Colbert had so much to say he split it into two parts. Ford, he noted, "went first, and her testimony was deeply moving. Don't take my word for it — ask the liberal snowflakes over at Fox News." His montage ended with Chris Wallace calling Ford's testimony a "disaster for the Republicans." "Although, to be fair, their last disaster is president right now," Colbert deadpanned.
Ford's "testimony was believable and heartbreaking, and word is President Trump was telling people he's furious what White House aides didn't have advance knowledge of how credible Ford would seem," Colbert said. After her powerful opening statement, she declined a break, saying she was good with coffee. "All she needed was coffee?" he asked. "I was just watching, and I needed a venti Xanax." He was really impressed with her answer to how she was "100 percent" sure it was Kavanaugh who assaulted her — "Dr. F just encoded a fresh-ass memory all up in their hippocampus!" — but not so moved by certain lines of questioning from the GOP's hired female stand-in, Rachel Mitchell, suggesting she was served poorly by the Republican men who hired her. But he was willing to take Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) up on his threat to Democrats about their future nominees. "Yeah, Democrats, if you're not careful, pretty soon there will be no accused sex offenders in government! Do you really want that? Is that what we want?!" Colbert's audience, at least, said yes.
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