Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles 2020

Trevor Noah, for one, finds some of Joe Biden's affectionate gestures super creepy

Former Vice President Joe Biden is the frontrunner for the Democratic nomination, even though he isn't officially running yet, Trevor Noah said on Monday's Daily Show. Currently, Biden is "putting out feelers to see where he stands, and apparently the answer is: Too close to women." The allegation by former Nevada lawmaker Lucy Flores that Biden smelled then kissed her hair before a fundraiser may not be sexual in nature, but "it clearly made her uncomfortable, and it's definitely not okay — I mean, smelling hair is always weird," Noah said. "Honestly, smelling hair is one of the creepiest things you can do. It's on the list of creepy things; it's right after collecting doll parts and sneezing with your eyes open."

Noah also found the alleged "slow kiss" on the top of Flores' head — and slow kisses in general — super creepy, and he wasn't buying dismissals of a second allegation from a woman who said Biden rubbed noses with her in 2009. "Medically speaking, the nose is the penis of the face," he said, explaining why in arguably persuasive but decidedly non-medical terms.

"So now, because of sniff-kiss-gate, Biden's campaign might be over before it even starts," Noah said. "And people are freaking out, because if he doesn't run, the Democrats would only have 16 candidates to choose from, and only six of them would be white guys — an absolute disaster. But Biden isn't ready to give up, my friends. No, he's gently grabbing this scandal by the shoulders and he's doing damage control." Biden's statement was good, he added, but he could see how the follow-through might very quickly go wrong. Watch below. Peter Weber