Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles the Mueller Report

Stephen Colbert, Seth Meyers, and Trevor Noah pan-fry 'chicken' William Barr

Thursday morning, President Trump "attended a prayer breakfast where he quoted Christ's parable on the Mueller 'witch hunt,'" Stephen Colbert joked on Thursday's Late Show. Trump also "touched on this country's No. 1 spiritual concern, mall signage," and eventually "quoted from the Bible," awkwardly. Colbert showed that clip and laughed: "He has never read one word of the Bible before."

"My head is still spinning from yesterday's Senate testimony of Attorney General William Barr," Colbert said. "Barr's performance yesterday angered a lot of Democrats," and they're "especially upset that Barr lied to Congress," which House Speaker Nancy Pelosi noted is a crime, he added. "Yes, when the attorney general lies to Congress, it is a crime. When the president does it, it is the State of the Union."

"Anyway, Barr lied to the Senate, and today he was scheduled to lie to the House of Representatives," Colbert said, "but he did not show up."

Yes, Barr "was a no-show for his own hearing," Trevor Noah said at The Daily Show, and the Democrats had props. Rep. Steve Cohen (D-Tenn.), notably, brought a "bucket of KFC to imply that the attorney general was chicken for not showing up," he said, "Look, this was clearly a stunt, because a bucket of fried chicken isn't going to get Bill Barr to come and testify. But it will get Donald Trump to come and see Congress."

"Dude, if you want to order KFC, just order KFC, it's fine — you don't need to tie it in to the hearing," Seth Meyer said on Late Night. "So Barr decided not to show up, and yet Republicans on the committee still wanted time to complain — not about Barr, but about the Democrats." Until their mics were cut off. "Wow, forget muting someone on Twitter — turns out you can mute them in real life," Meyers said. "Seriously, can we please try that next time Trump holds a rally?" Watch his demonstration below. Peter Weber