Speed Reads

last night on late night

Jimmy Kimmel has some theories on why Justin Bieber wants to fight Tom Cruise, Trump's aggrieved tweets

"This is very odd," Jimmy Kimmel said on Monday's Kimmel Live. "Last night, Justin Bieber tweeted:"

"The Raptors go up 3-1, all of a sudden every Canadian thinks he's Mike Tyson," Kimmel joked. "But starting a fight on Twitter, totally randomly, with a celebrity — who does Justin Bieber think he is? President of the United States? I would like to see it, though. I would pay to see that — that would be some fight: Top Gun versus man-bun." The big question, he said, "is why has this happened? I mean, if this was a stunt, Tom Cruise would have done it himself. But why would Justin Bieber challenge Tom Cruise to fight?" Kimmel had a theory or three.

"Speaking of dumb, here's our daily doozy from Donald Trump," Kimmel said, reading Trump's aggrieved tweet about getting "no credit" for his Mexico deal. "Maybe the reason he can't get credit is because you've declared bankruptcy six times. He is so out of it, he is so desperately insecure. Do you think if we just gave him a national holiday, he would just relax? I mean, let's try it, let's call it Trumpsgiving and align it with whatever day the McRib comes back every year."

Trump is also rage-tweeting at The New York Times for its report that nothing in his new Mexico deal is actually new. "The funniest thing is, this is The New York Times — I don't think Trump's base would've had any awareness of this story if he hadn't brought it up," Kimmel noted. "It's like texting everyone in your phone: 'Please don't look at this picture of my pants falling down, which is attached.'" Watch below. Peter Weber