"Over the weekend, sex criminal Jeffrey Epstein was found dead in his New York jail cell," Stephen Colbert said on Monday's Late Show. "Now apparently, he — they say, and I guess they would know, though they can't say how — committed suicide. Which is surprising, because three weeks ago, he was found unconscious with marks on his neck — how the marks got there, authorities did not share with the public — and yet Epstein was left alone and not closely monitored. Now, maybe he was just in one of those prisons that really value inmate privacy. Then again, Epstein knew a lot of powerful and important people. ... A who's who of 'Who's Jeffrey Epstein? I've never met Jeffrey Epstein!'"
Given his alleged crimes and powerful friends — including President Trump and former President Bill Clinton — Epstein's death "has set off a wild wave of conspiracy theories online, the sort of stuff that only unstable tinfoil-hat loons could possibly believe — so Donald Trump," Colbert said. He did not subscribe to the conspiracy theory Trump boosted. "Really? Really? That's your theory? I'm not saying that the Clintons don't have any power — they could definitely get a reservation at any restaurant in New York City; party of four, 7 o'clock on a Saturday, maybe not — but masterminding a scheme to assassinate a high-profile prisoner in maximum-security federal custody? They couldn't even mastermind a visit to Wisconsin."
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