Britain has been "trying to Brexit the EU for three years now, but every time an agreement has been reached, Brexit hardliners have derailed it over something called the 'Irish backstop,'" Stephen Colbert explained on Wednesday's Late Show. The inability to reach agreement on that issue sank former Prime Minister Theresa May, and "Brexit is now in the hands of new prime minister and midlife crisis Draco Malfoy, Boris Johnson."
Johnson took office promising to Brexit, with or without a deal, but on Tuesday he lost his one-seat majority in the House of Commons, which then voted to thwart his no-deal Brexit, leading Johnson to kick 21 fellow Conservative MPs out of the party. "These lawmakers bucking their own party to stand up to an unnaturally blond man with terrible ideas gives me hope — if they can do it, maybe we can too!" Colbert said. "Great Britain is always ahead of us with stuff like this — they elected a woman head of state in 1979, and we didn't do that until possibly someday."
"Honestly, I don't get why anyone still thinks they can do Brexit," Trevor Noah said at The Daily Show. "You realize it has now destroyed three prime ministers. I mean, clearly it's cursed. It's like one of the treasures in an Indiana Jones movie — everyone who touches it is just going to be, like, melting." He suggested "things in Britain are so bad," India should just colonize them.
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Noah also laughed at President Trump's apparent Sharpie edit to a map of Hurricane Dorian, adding a black circle around a corner of Alabama. "And he thought we wouldn't notice," he sighed. "Either that, or he wanted to give the hurricane bigger boobs. ... Someone's like, 'Sir, this hurricane is Category 5.' He's like, 'Uh, actually, now it's a 10.'"
"According to a new poll, former Vice President Joe Biden leads President Trump by 9 points in Wisconsin," Late Night's Seth Meyers added. "And when Trump heard that, he updated the hurricane map again." Watch below. Peter Weber
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