Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles Trump versus the World

Stephen Colbert and Trevor Noah hit Trump's 'insane' but unifying Kurdish betrayal, suggest a 'Kurd pro quo'

"Can we take away Donald Trump's phone?" Stephen Colbert asked on Monday's Late Show. The latest bad thing the president did on his phone is agree to withdraw U.S. troops from Kurdish-held northern Syria after a call with Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan, he said. "This is a complete betrayal of the Kurdish fighters who helped the U.S. defeat ISIS, and there's only one way out of this: Kurds, you've got 24 hours to dig up dirt on Joe Biden."

Trump's decision brought swift condemnation from some of his most stalwart allies, Colbert said. "Look how uncomfortable the Fox & Friends are. ... I can't believe Trump has lost Brian Kilmeade. That's like Timmy losing Lassie." In fact, "people on both sides of the aisle unloaded on Trump for this betrayal, so Trump went on Twitter and went full twit," he said, pausing at Trump's "great and unmatched wisdom" line: "Wow, he's gone full god-emperor."

Colbert ran through a number of new devolvements in the Trump impeachment investigation, deadpanning: "They're really starting to build a case that the president did the thing he has repeatedly admitted."

Yes, "the impeachment case against Donald Trump has seen a number of big developments," Trevor Noah said at The Daily Show. "A second whistleblower stepped forward, damning text messages from American diplomats were released, and Rudy Giuliani was caught going through Joe Biden's trash — yeah, he wasn't looking for dirt, he was just hungry." Instead of trying to put out those fires, though, Trump blindsided the Pentagon and alienated his allies with his "insane" late-night policy reversal, he said, explaining why this is "a big deal."

"Trump's surprise military move has now put the Kurds at risk, and without the Kurds, ISIS could make a comeback — and not in like a cool, small-part-in-a-Tarantino-movie kind of way," Noah said. "I do think there is one option" to get Trump to change his mind, though, he added: "Kurdish forces, you need to phone Trump and you need to tell him you have dirt on Joe Biden, but if he wants it, he's gonna have to give you military aid — or as I like to call it, a Kurd pro quo." Watch below. Peter Weber