Stephen Colbert celebrates Trump 'Impeachment Hearing Eve' with jokes, testimony preview, a damning song

Stephen Colbert celebrates Trump impeachment eve

(Image credit: Screenshot/YouTube/The Late Show)

published 13 November 2019

Stephen Colbert's Late Show kicked off Tuesday's "Impeachment Hearing Eve" show with a carol laying out the entire case against President Trump in less that 2 minutes.

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Yes, the chill in the air "means we're heading into my favorite season, because it's impeachment eve," Colbert said in his monologue. "Tomorrow is the first day of televised impeachment hearings. I'm so excited, I won't be able to sleep — so, like every other night of the Trump presidency. And I've already decorated my impeachment tree!" He showed off some of the ornaments, including "Quid Pro Snow" and a salty one involving Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.).

Wednesday's first witness, U.S. diplomat Bill Taylor, testified behind closed doors that Trump tied Ukraine military aid directly to investigations of his domestic political rivals and that Rudy Giuliani had opened an "irregular channel" of policymaking on Ukraine, Colbert said. "What's an irregular channel that includes Giuliani? Oh, Fox News!" Ukraine's president was going to announce Trump's investigations on Sept. 13, but Trump released the military aid on Sept. 11 — "not out of any goodness of Trump's heart, but because federal lawyers told the White House Trump had no legal standing to block spending of the Ukraine aid," he explained, switching into Trump voice: "Foiled again by my two arch-nemeses: legal and standing."

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The evidence so far has put some Trump defenders in the uncomfortable position of saying what Trump did was wrong but not impeachable, in part because he says similar things in public all the time. "So what?" Colbert said. "Just because you publicly brag about a crime doesn't make it legal! The cops won't leave you alone just because you put up a sign that says 'I [Heart] My Murder Shed.'" Trump did not like that strategy, so Republicans released a memo outlining their talking points, including that Trump had an innocent "state of mind." Colbert had a visual depiction. Watch below. Peter Weber

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Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.