For safer casual sex during COVID-19, 'make it a little kinky,' New York City's health department suggests

Safe sex, but during a deadly viral pandemic where the main body fluid spreading the disease is saliva. Is it possible? "Yes!" says New York City's health department in recently updated, surprisingly frank guidelines on "Safer Sex and COVID-19."

Some of the guidelines are pretty obvious. "You are your safest sex partner," the guidelines say, in a plug for masturbation, but the next safest is a live-in partner. If you date, limit the number of people, ask questions about their coronavirus mitigation efforts, and don't kiss without telling. "You basically have to have the safe sex conversation before kissing," Harvard epidemiologist Dr. Julia Marcus tells The New York Times.

Or maybe don't kiss at all. "Maybe it’s your thing, maybe it’s not, but during COVID-19 wearing a face covering that covers your nose and mouth is a good way to add a layer of protection during sex," New York's health department advises. "Heavy breathing and panting can spread the virus further." And then there's this advice: "Make it a little kinky. Be creative with sexual positions and physical barriers, like walls, that allow sexual contact while preventing close face to face contact."

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If you didn't expect the largest America city to suggest sex through walls, maybe you don't read enough government pubic health documents — "seksbuddies," anyone? "Our health department has a really strong record of being very sex positive," Dr. Demetre Daskalakis, the NYC health department's deputy commissioner for disease control, tells the Times. "We tend not to shy away from giving people realistic recommendations. There's no reason for COVID-19 to be different."

Hook-ups aren't for everyone, especially during the pandemic, but loneliness is a public health crisis of its own. And physical intimacy isn't the only kind. Social distancing "takes people out of that swipe circuity, the hookup circuity, and it makes people rethink what they're looking for," Ken Page, a psychotherapist and co-founder of DeeperDating.com, tells the Times. "This is the time to build new muscles and skills of intimacy that so many of us desperately needed but didn't have time for."