Jimmy Kimmel compares Trump to Christoper Columbus, laughs at Trump's proposed Superman act

The Los Angeles Lakers "closed out the weirdest season ever last night by hammering the Miami Heat, and celebrating the way only people in the bubble can," Jimmy Kimmel said on Monday's Kimmel Live. "It's weird to see people hug, right? It was strange watching this. I had to reintroduce the concept of joy to my system."

"Today is Canadian Thanksgiving," and "Canadians have a lot to be thankful for, primarily: they're not us," Kimmel said. "Today also happens to be Indigenous Peoples Day and Columbus Day. In 1492, Christopher Columbus discovered America, the same way hipsters discovered pour-over coffee — not really, but he gets a day for it. Our president, though, is a big supporter of Columbus Day. He and Christopher Columbus actually have a lot in common: They both spread disease, and both failed spectacularly at what they were hired to do."

President Trump has "been very cagey about whether he's tested negative yet, but whether he's negative or not doesn't matter, because his new thing is he's got 'immunity,'" Kimmel said. "If it sounds like Trump is trying to position himself as some kind of superhero now, listen to this: The 'failing' New York Times reported that when he got out of the hospital last week, he wanted to put on a show. His plan — he floated this idea to several people — was to walk out of the hospital appearing to be frail, and then he would tear off his button-down shirt to reveal a Superman logo underneath. This is not a joke, this is what he wanted to do. Whoever talked him out of this, I'd like to bang you right on the head."

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"The Man of Steal the Election is getting back on the road," Kimmel said. "He's desperate, he's trailing bigly in the polls, but he did pick up a major endorsement over the weekend — from none other than the Taliban." The Trump campaign rejected the Taliban's endorsement, but "I wonder how that went down," he mused. "Trump doesn't get a lot of endorsements, and he also loves people who love him — it's really his only criteria. So when that endorsement from the Taliban came in, my guess is his campaign team was like 'Don't even tell him about this!'" Watch below. Peter Weber