Speed Reads

Late Night tackles the Trump-Biden transition

Jimmy Fallon, Stephen Colbert, and Trevor Noah count the new ways Trump is 'undefeated at losing'

It's already December, and "people are making their Christmas lists — for example, Rudy Giuliani is asking Trump for a pardon," Jimmy Fallon said on Tuesday's Tonight Show. "I'm actually not kidding," he clarified. "It's not a great sign when your lawyer comes to you like, 'Dude, you got to get me out of this jam.'" Now, "Rudy hasn't been charged with anything yet, so they're calling this a pre-emptive pardon," he added. "Apparently he told Trump that there's a Borat 3, and it's a lot worse."

On Monday, "Wisconsin and Arizona became the latest states to formally certify Biden's victory — and Arizona's ceremony happened at a particularly awkward moment for Donald Trump," Trevor Noah said at The Daily Show, showing Gov. Doug Ducey (R) not answering Trump's call on live TV. "That is cold, sending the president of the United States to voicemail like he's spam — which he is, but still. You know Fox & Friends were watching this like, 'Oh, that's a good trick.'" Trump is not losing the White House empty-handed, though, he added. "Damn, we all knew that he's probably grift hard on his way out, but hustling $170 million from his own supporters?"

"Uncle Scam has been raking it in," Jimmy Kimmel agreed on Kimmel Live. "And maybe that's the reason he won't concede." "Trump's "own attorney general today, William Barr, dropped a December surprise on him," saying there was essentially no election fraud, he added. "If Bill Barr had a neck, Trump would totally be wringing it right now." Kimmel also chuckled at Ducey "ghosting" Trump, but noted that "after being publicly screened, the president called in to hearing in Arizona on the subject of voter fraud to drop a Ducey on Doug," Still, privately Trump has reportedly accepted reality, Kimmel said. "I guess once he lost Wisconsin five times in 10 days, he realized the end might be near."

"Christmas has come early this year, as the president continues to shower us all with the gift of watching him lose every day — sometimes several times a day," Stephen Colbert said at The Late Show. "The president has failed to the vote certification in all six states where he contested his defeat. So that's 0 and 6 in the certification and 0 and 3 in recounts, and he hasn't won a a single fraud case. He is undefeated at losing. He is the Michael Jordan of playing baseball." Watch below. Peter Weber