last night on late night
There's a "scandal in horse racing," after "Medina Spirit, the horse that won last weekend's Kentucky Derby, tested positive for steroids after the race," Jimmy Fallon said on Monday's Tonight Show. "I think the real giveaway was when he ran the race on two legs." Even worse for the horse, "a photo just surfaced of him partying with Jeffrey Epstein," he joked. "Even former President Trump weighed in. He released a statement, writing, 'So now even our Kentucky Derby winner, Medina Spirit, is a junky.'"
Late Night's Seth Meyers found Trump calling a horse a "junky" legitimately hilarious.
"I still can't believe this guy was president," Trevor Noah laughed at The Daily Show. "This man is a legend. What other ex-president spends their time roasting horses? It is weird, though, to put this on the horse, right? I mean, it's not like the horse wants to take drugs — or train all day or race around a track getting slapped on the ass." Still, if given a choice, "the horse would definitely take the drugs," he explained, pointing to the alternative: glue.
Honestly, if "our Kentucky-fried former president" is "gonna start picking fights with horses, we should let him back on Twitter, because I want to see that," Jimmy Kimmel said on Kimmel Live. The horse's trainer, Bob Baffert, claims he doesn't know how the steroids got inside his horse, but he's sure it's the fault of "cancel culture," he laughed. "It's horse racism, is what it is!"
"Baffert came out strong and denied that the horse had ever been treated with the drug — and the horse claimed it was just holding it for a friend," Stephen Colbert joked on The Late Show. But Baffert's right, he deadpanned, "this is an injustice to the inbred creature he forces to run in a circle while being whipped for the pleasure of drunk humans screaming 'Go faster, go faster, or Brenda will leave me this time!' Baffert then got up on his extremely high and expensive horse and pointed the finger at the true culprit, wokeness."
"That's right, he's blaming 'cancel culture,'" Conan O'Brien said on Conan. "We thought, we have to get to the bottom of this, so we decided to talk with the horse's trainer himself," a fake Baffert with real zingers.
The Late Show, meanwhile, interviewed the juiced-up horse. Peter Weber