Speed Reads

Last Night on Late Night

Late night hosts denude the GOP's Jan. 6 historical revisionism, attempts to 'All Riots Matter' the commission

"It's been a little over five months since a violent mob stormed the U.S. Capitol, took over the floor of the Senate, and passed a law giving tax breaks to incels," Trevor Noah joked on Wednesday's Daily Show. "The FBI is still tracking down the rioters," and those already caught "are working on staying out of prison." He focused on the "novel" and "inflammatory" all-the-rioters-are-morons defense from "QAnon Shaman" Jacob Chansley's lawyer.

"It's important to remember that a mob of morons didn't just materialize out of nowhere," Noah said, which is why the House just voted to investigate who "encouraged and inspired these morons" and allowed them to ransack the Capitol. "Interestingly enough," he added, Republicans are either uninterested in the answers or "trying to 'All Riots Matter' this commission."

The Daily Show gave the GOP's "revisionist history" a shot.

"This is why we need a commission, to lay out the facts for the historical record so Republicans can't lie about it and create an alternate reality where it didn't happen," Late Night's Seth Meyers argued. Seriously, "it's all there on camera for us to see."

GOP leaders claim they wanted the commission to also investigate Black Lives Matter protests, antifa, and other unrelated events. "That's like being upset that the movie Halloween doesn't investigate what happens on Arbor Day," Stephen Colbert said at The Late Show. He also cheered New York's attorney general pursuing a criminal investigation of Donald Trump's business, calling it "a big deal" that a "four-alarm freakout" on cable news never really explained.

"It's starting to look like the guy who ran a fraudulent charitable foundation and fraudulent university might be a fraud," Jimmy Kimmel deadpanned on Kimmel Live. If Trump "does end up in prison, I really think we should give him Twitter back."

Republican leaders don't want a commission because "some of them are worried if we investigate what happened on the 6th, they might have to plead the 5th," Kimmel said. "Some of these guys are also saying they want to move on and not rehash the past. Right, you know, when a violent mob attacked our embassy in Benghazi, Republicans in Congress investigated it eight times. A violent mob attacks the U.S. Capitol, they're like, 'Tourists, what are you gonna do?'" This "division and anger and mistrust," he sighed, "it's all because one guy's ego is so out of control he can't deal with the fact that he lost an election."