Late night hosts crack Cyber Monday jokes, compare the Biden and Trump White House Christmas decorations
The Late Show celebrated Cyber Monday with a bittersweet trailer for an updated Miracle on 34th Street.
"I love shopping on Cyber Monday, because nothing beats spending the holiday season on hold with the Bank of America fraud department," Jimmy Fallon joked on The Tonight Show. In Washington, meanwhile, "first lady Jill Biden revealed this year's White House holiday decorations," he said. "The theme of this year's decorations is 'Gifts from the Heart' — as opposed to today's theme, 'Gifts I found online for 60 percent off.'" Somehow, "even former President Trump made it onto one of the ornaments — this is real," he said. "You know that's definitely on the side of the tree that faces the wall."
"Of course the big news that everyone is talking about is this new COVID variant," Fallon said. "Omicron — it sounds like a Transformer who can't smell or taste."
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
"Omicron has been declared a 'variant of concern' by the World Health Organization," Jimmy Kimmel said on Kimmel Live. "Experts are hoping it ends up being like the second season of Tiger King, where everybody talks about it but nobody actually experiences it. But of course the right-wingnuts have a theory on this. Their theory is that this variant is some kind of ploy concocted by the Democrats to help them win elections."
Among the proponents of this ludicrous theory is former White House doctor and current Texas congressman Ronny Jackson. "All right, let me get this straight, Dr. Ronny," Kimmel sighed. "Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi developed this variant to encourage Democrats to vote by mail, is that how it goes? Seems like maybe you're giving them too much credit. You think Democrats are that organized? They can't even get Joe Manchin to support maternity leave, I don't think they're creating viruses."
This year's White House Christmas theme, "Gifts From the Heart," is "a significant departure from former first lady Melania Trump's theme, which was 'Dead on the Inside,'" Kimmel joked. But "the White House Christmas festivities inadvertently set off a rare moment of truth on the right-wing Fox wannabe Newsmax today, where the veil of anti-Biden BS lifted ever so slightly."
The Late Show's Stephen Colbert dubbed Cyber Monday "Buy Jeff Bezos a Second Penis Rocket Day," but he used the occasion to promote a handful of local small businesses. Nick Offerman helped create an ad for one of them, Redmon's Popcorn.
Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
Sundance Film Festival looks for a new home as movie buffs dial in
In the Spotlight The festival will be moving to Salt Lake City, Boulder, Colorado, or Cincinnati
By Justin Klawans, The Week US Published
-
The Week contest: Trillionaire tome
Puzzles and Quizzes
By The Week US Published
-
'On arrival, workers faced a system of racial segregation'
Instant Opinion Opinion, comment and editorials of the day
By Justin Klawans, The Week US Published
-
Who is the Hat Man? 'Shadow people' and sleep paralysis
In Depth 'Sleep demons' have plagued our dreams throughout the centuries, but the explanation could be medical
By The Week Staff Published
-
Same-sex marriage becomes legal in Thailand
Speed Read The law grants same-sex spouses the same rights as married heterosexual couples
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Top Israeli general to resign over Oct. 7 failures
Speed Read Herzi Halevi took responsibility for his failure to prevent the attacks that sparked Israel's war in Gaza
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US Published
-
80 dead in Colombia amid uptick in guerrilla fighting
Speed Read This was the country's deadliest wave of violence since the peace accords set by President Gustavo Petro in 2016
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Gaza ceasefire, hostage deal on track to start by Monday
Speed Read A deal between Israel and Hamas to release hostages and begin a ceasefire was officially signed by representatives in Doha
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Ukraine captures first North Korean soldiers
Speed Read Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy posted videos of the men captured in Russia's Kursk region
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Lebanon selects president after 2-year impasse
Speed Read The country's parliament elected Gen. Joseph Aoun as its next leader
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
US accuses Sudan rebels of genocide, sanctions chief
Speed Read Sudan has been engaged in a bloody civil war that erupted in 2023
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published