Good week for:

North Koreans, now that the country’s first pizzeria has opened, in Pyongang. The Dear Leader, Kim Jong Il, sent chefs to Italy for training, so that his people—who are often starving—could sample the world’s best foods. “I’ve learned through TV and books that pizza and spaghetti are among the world’s famous dishes, but this is the first time that I’ve tasted it,” said customer Jung Un-Suk, 42, describing the flavor as “unique.”

Bargains, after a quaint English village was put on sale for $35 million by the charitable trust that owns it. The parcel includes 22 houses, two blacksmiths, a rectory, and a cricket pitch.

Humans, after physicists announced they’d created a “Star Wars”–type laser weapon that zaps flying mosquitoes and makes them disappear in a tiny puff of smoke. “We’d be delighted if we destabilize the human-mosquito balance of power,” says Jordin Kare, an astrophysicist who helped create the device.

Bad week for:

Blowin’ in the wind, after Bob Dylan’s Malibu neighbors complained to city officials that odors from an outdoor toilet on his estate were making them ill.

Going off-message, after a Florida man wearing an “I ♥ my marriage” T-shirt was arrested for allegedly choking his wife and throwing numerous items at her during a fight. 

Bluffing, after the owner of a British nightclub wrote to police to deny allegations that her establishment was rife with drug use. Police tested the letter and found it “covered in cocaine.”