Good week for:
Romance, after the wedding of the world’s heaviest man. Mexican Manuel Uribe, who has slimmed down to 683 pounds from 1,244, attended the ceremony in a custom-made bed and passed up the cake. “He didn’t break his diet,” said his mother.
Potential collectors’ items, after a bimonthly New Mexico newspaper printed its Oct. 26–Nov. 8 issue with the headline, “Obama Wins!” The New Mexico Sun News urged readers to vote, “even if we did spoil the ending for you.”
Bringing your shampoo, with the news that in 2009, airline passengers will be allowed to carry normal bottles of liquids onto planes again, thanks to improved X-ray technology. “That’s a major milestone for security,” said a government spokesman.
Bad week for:
Good, clean fun, after hundreds of Utah residents attending the opening of the Disney movie High School Musical 3 were stunned to see the screen filled with nude men and women using sexually explicit language. The movie theater, which had been showing the R-rated Sex Drive the day before, forgot to switch films.
Excuses, after an Oregon teenager said she didn’t see the police officer trying to pull her over for driving 107 mph because she was too busy talking on her cell phone.
Modern technology, after a passenger on a French high-speed railroad line got his arm stuck in a high-tech suction toilet. The man, who was reaching for his dropped cell phone, had to be removed from the train with the toilet still attached to his arm.