Good week for:

Wardrobe malfunctions, after a federal appeals court threw out a $550,000 fine against CBS for the inadvertent fleeting broadcast of Janet Jackson’s bare breast at the 2004 Super Bowl. The FCC, said the court, “acted arbitrarily and capriciously” in bringing the hammer down on CBS.

Being prepared for all circumstances, after Jeff Nichols of San Diego lifted his wife’s wedding gown to retrieve her garter so he could toss it into the crowd, only to find a thigh holster and a loaded revolver. “Oops, wrong leg,” Nichols said. His bride is a police officer.

Foot fetishists, after a Virginia spa began offering pedicures performed by 100 tiny Garra rufa fish, also known as “doctor fish” in Asian countries. The toothless fish nibble off calluses and other dead skin. “It’s a little ticklish, actually,” said one customer.

Bad week for:

Downsizing, after a North Carolina man sued the Raleigh News & Observer because the newspaper laid off 70 staff members and cut the number of news pages shortly after he renewed his subscription. Keith Hempstead says the paper can no longer produce the quality stories that he paid for.

Southern cookin’, after a new study found Mississippi, Alabama, and Tennessee to be the fattest states in the country.

Bringing them in alive,
after police in Minnesota tried to bring a peaceful end to a high-speed car chase of a burglary suspect by calling his cell phone. “Dude, I can’t talk,” the suspect said. “I’m being chased by the police.” He hung up, and remains at large.