The 2016 election will be horrible for America. But also, endlessly entertaining.
This will be the most ruthless, dirtiest, craziest election in modern American history. Great!
The general election match-up is set: Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are all but certain to be the two main party candidates for president of the United States. And as my colleague Michael Brendan Dougherty aptly explained, the selection of these two utterly dishonest, self-centered, and self-indulgent louts is a despair-inducing indictment of our society.
But there's at least one upside: Even if this election is divinely ordained punishment (and it might be!), then at least I get to enjoy watching it.
And let's be honest — aside from that whole end-of-the-Republic thing, it's going to be an amazing thing to watch. If there's one thing Trump and Clinton have in common, it's that they fight hard and dirty.
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
Clinton will carpet bomb Trump with everything she's got, and then some. And Trump — well, I could argue that he's going to attack her only because his poll numbers call for desperate measures. But we all know that Trump attacks people — particularly women — just because he enjoys watching people suffer.
If you look at the 2016 race as pure spectacle, it's not hard to start hoping that Clinton doesn't just attack Trump's bigoted positions, but also his character and person. (As well she should, since Trump's character is the main reason why he shouldn't be allowed within 100 feet of the nuclear codes.) Imagine if she really pushes his buttons, and, say, attacks his puny, sausage-like fingers. He'll go nuts, and it will be a sight to behold. I hope when she broaches the topic of his despicable behavior towards women, she doesn't do it in a schoolmarmy way, pivoting to a point about equality and inclusion, but goes straight for the jugular, mocking him for how insecure and pathetic he has to be to treat women that way. His head might well explode.
I hate Trump and everything he stands for with a burning passion. But I'm also a conservative. And thus, the prospect of a Clinton dragged through the mud by anyone (Trump included) really does make me tingle, and I'm only half-ashamed to admit it. Clinton's eight-figure global grifting scheme dressed up in oozing do-goodery rhetoric alone justifies it.
Trump certainly has ammo to use against Clinton. The Libya disaster. Benghazi. The server. The corruption. He's going to go all out. And it will make the spectacle of the GOP primary look like a flea circus. The greatest show on Earth is only just beginning.
If there's one virtue to this whole charade, it's that the media's red-hot liberal bias and transparent urge to do everything they can to give Hillary Her Turn so she can Break That Glass Ceiling would have blunted any Republican's attacks on Clinton. Between Trump's nastiness and his incomprehensible gift for getting attention for himself, that ain't gonna happen this time around.
I loathe mistreatment of women in general, and by the powerful in particular. But when it comes dressed up in pious, folksy sanctimony, and is aided and abetted by a media-political-industrial complex that incessantly lectures the entire world about misogyny, I hit maximum levels of fury. In the Bible, God uses pretty loathsome characters to mete out punishment. Maybe he gave us Trump for that very reason.
In the end, these two are made for each other. Astonishingly corrupt, with no regard for the truth or the rule of law. The misogynist and the politician who drapes herself in her womanhood for political gain. The crony capitalist and the capitalists' crony. The one who grinds the little people under his heels because he enjoys it, and the one who does it cold-bloodedly because it suits her. Never was there such a ripe target for such an ugly arrow. They deserve each other.
Let the Republic burn. I'll be watching with popcorn.
Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Pascal-Emmanuel Gobry is a writer and fellow at the Ethics and Public Policy Center. His writing has appeared at Forbes, The Atlantic, First Things, Commentary Magazine, The Daily Beast, The Federalist, Quartz, and other places. He lives in Paris with his beloved wife and daughter.
-
4 ways to give back this holiday season
The Explainer If your budget is feeling squeezed, remember that money is not the only way you can be generous around the holidays
By Becca Stanek, The Week US Published
-
4 tips for hosting an ecofriendly Thanksgiving
The Week Recommends Coming together for the holidays typically produces a ton of waste, but with proper preparation, you can have an environmentally friendly gathering.
By Theara Coleman, The Week US Published
-
Jussie Smollet conviction overturned on appeal
Speed Read The Illinois Supreme Court overturned the actor's conviction on charges of staging a racist and homophobic attack against himself in 2019
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
US election: who the billionaires are backing
The Explainer More have endorsed Kamala Harris than Donald Trump, but among the 'ultra-rich' the split is more even
By Harriet Marsden, The Week UK Published
-
US election: where things stand with one week to go
The Explainer Harris' lead in the polls has been narrowing in Trump's favour, but her campaign remains 'cautiously optimistic'
By Harriet Marsden, The Week UK Published
-
Is Trump okay?
Today's Big Question Former president's mental fitness and alleged cognitive decline firmly back in the spotlight after 'bizarre' town hall event
By Harriet Marsden, The Week UK Published
-
The life and times of Kamala Harris
The Explainer The vice-president is narrowly leading the race to become the next US president. How did she get to where she is now?
By The Week UK Published
-
Will 'weirdly civil' VP debate move dial in US election?
Today's Big Question 'Diametrically opposed' candidates showed 'a lot of commonality' on some issues, but offered competing visions for America's future and democracy
By Harriet Marsden, The Week UK Published
-
1 of 6 'Trump Train' drivers liable in Biden bus blockade
Speed Read Only one of the accused was found liable in the case concerning the deliberate slowing of a 2020 Biden campaign bus
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
How could J.D. Vance impact the special relationship?
Today's Big Question Trump's hawkish pick for VP said UK is the first 'truly Islamist country' with a nuclear weapon
By Harriet Marsden, The Week UK Published
-
Biden, Trump urge calm after assassination attempt
Speed Reads A 20-year-old gunman grazed Trump's ear and fatally shot a rally attendee on Saturday
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published