The Great Cheeseboard: Londoners in uproar over ‘abysmal’ cheese festival

If there’s one thing that Londoners are deadly serious about, it’s their cheese - as the organisers of an “unlimited” cheese and mulled wine feast have found to their cost.

Guests at The Giant Cheeseboard in Greenwich paid upwards of £30 a ticket for a six-hour feast of cheese and mulled wine this weekend, with advertised entertainment including actors dressed as mice, live comedy and a roaring fire.

Tensions began to mount before the club even opened its doors, with impatient fromage fans left in the cold:

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Once guests actually got in, social media was shaken by on-the-ground reports that “the wine was cold, the rodent chaperones fell short of expectations and that the fireplace was projected on a screen in the car park marquee,” says The Guardian.

Twitter lit up with outrage as attendees realised they were not getting the experience they expected.

The main attraction proved a particularly disappointment for many, with complaints about the quality and quantity of the promised cheese extravaganza:

For those who were following the debacle from a distance, it was all a bit of a joke:

But only one who has been short-changed on brie and stilton can truly understand the incandescent fury:

One ticketholder told the London Evening Standard: “I have never been to an event where there were so many unhappy people.”

The incident came almost a year to the day after a similarly controversial cheese festival at Borough Market. In December 2016, the market’s annual Evening of Cheese event descended into pandemonium after drawing a far larger crowd than anticipated.

Thousands descended on the free event - not only making some attendees fear for their safety but, possibly even more importantly, preventing many from getting even the faintest sniff of cheese.

The Giant Cheeseboard’s organisers hit back in a lengthy Facebook post in which they rebuffed many of the complaints, including reports of cheese shortages and cold mulled wine.

“We are truly passionate about cheese and have put months of planning and huge investment into this project,” they said.

“We are obviously very upset seeing any negative reactions at all, but to make the statement some of you are in messages and social media is just totally unfair and false!”

Another Giant Cheeseboard evening is planned on 23 December, and organisers urged ticketholders to ignore the bad press, stating: “there categorically is unlimited cheese”.