Feature

The QT: The Sarah Palin alarm, the spelling of Howard Dean's scream, and more

A veteran journalist, tongue firmly in cheek, riffs on the latest headlines

News Headline: "Obama has charged more under Espionage Act than all other presidents combined"News Headline: "Edward Snowden seeks Ecuador asylum"Good choice for an American whistleblower these days. The Galapagos Islands protect more than 100 endangered species.

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News Headline: "Sarah Palin: Abolish the IRS" Why was QT just reminded of the car alarm that keeps going off in its neighborhood?

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News Item: "Afghanistan doctor stoned, tossed from a balcony for treating a female patient without a chaperone" Remember, there are no "bad" cultures — only different ones. And we can only hope that Afghanistan isn't going from different to worse.

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News Headline: "Kim Kardashian and Kanye West name their baby girl North" J.D., a Milwaukee reader, writes: "Beyonce Knowles should have named her daughter Grassy." Stop it. Stop it now.

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News Item: "Vermont Democrat Howard Dean, who became famous for the 'I have a scream' speech he gave in Iowa in 2004, isn't ruling out running for president in 2016..." QT has done some research. Dean's scream has been reported variously in the news media as: "YEAEEEAAAAAH!" "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRHHHHHH!" "YEAGH!" "YAAAAAAAR!" "YEAEEEAAAAAH!" "YAAAAA!" "YEEEAH!" "YEEAARRGGHH!" "YEAHHHHHHH!" "YEAAAHHHHHH!" "YEEEEARRGH!" and "AARRRGHHA!" QT favors "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRHHHHHH!" QT may have too much time on its hands.

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Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) on Republican outreach efforts:"We need to be like the rest of America. We're going to win when we look like America. We need to be white, we need to be brown, we need to be black, we need to be with tattoos, without tattoos, with ponytails, without ponytails, with beards, without." He theemth to draw the line, however, at Americanth with tongue thtudth.

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News Headline: "Plants capable of solving complex math equations" And how many times have you, like QT, smiled and said, almost as a boast, "Oh, I'm no good at math"?

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News Headline: "Maher: Ben Franklin would have tweeted" So let Ben give it a try:Our new #Constitution is established and has an appearance that promises permanency, but in the world nothing can be said to be certain excOr Ben can always try Facebook.

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QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language: T.M., a Northbrook, Ill., reader, writes: "Thought you might be interested to know that in Roman Catholic usage, a + in front of a name indicates he's a bishop." This is new to +QT But +QT likes the look of it. It isn't "chip off the old block," by the way, but "chip of the old block."

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Write to QT at zaysmith.qt@gmail.com

QT appears Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

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