A store named Finders Keepers
A New Hampshire man accused of shoplifting has argued that he is only guilty of taking the store’s name—Finders Keepers—too literally. Ruben Pavon was caught on surveillance camera removing a grill and a DVD player from the thrift shop, but claimed he didn’t realize he was supposed to pay for the items. “I thought it was there for the taking,” said Pavon. “The sign did say ‘Finders Keepers.’” Owner Laura Barker says that if she knew of a store that gave away everything for free, “I’d be there on a regular basis myself.”

Beyoncé's requests
On her current world tour, Beyoncé has a contract specifying that her dressing room be supplied with $1,000 titanium straws, says the Daily Star (U.K.). The contract specifies that each venue must supply Beyoncé with hand-carved ice balls to suck on, and the titanium straws, which she uses to drink alkaline water chilled to exactly 69.8 degrees. Dressing rooms must have freshly painted white walls, a new toilet seat, and an ample supply of red toilet paper. Beyoncé works hard, a source said, and “feels that her requests aren’t too much to ask.”

Atheist's missing shoe shipments
A German shoe firm called Atheist thinks that God-fearing American postal workers are interfering with its shipments. About half of the packages sent by the Berlin-based firm to U.S. customers have either gone missing or suffered lengthy delays, said company founder David Bonney. He suspects U.S. mailmen are disrupting the deliveries because they object to the word “Atheist” stamped on the boxes. If it’s not the mailmen, Bonney says, “maybe it truly is divine intervention.”