Good week, Bad week

Good week for:

Having weird relatives, after substitute teacher Arlene Magdanz of San Rafael, Calif., found out she was the heir to $7 million in gold found in the Carson City, Nev., home of her late, reclusive cousin Walter Samaszko Jr. “Nobody had any clue he was hoarding the gold,” said one Carson City official.

Overeating,after 480-pound convicted murderer Ronald Post petitioned to cancel his scheduled execution in Ohio, arguing that lethal injection of an obese man might not work, resulting in “serious physical and psychological pain.’’

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Nookie,after seven nurseries in Denmark offered parents two hours of free child care on Thursday nights to give parents “quality copulation time,” so they could make more children.

Bad week for:

Objectivity, after it was discovered that NFL replacement referee Brian Stropolo, scheduled to work a New Orleans Saints game, had a Facebook page proclaiming himself a Saints fan, with pictures of him wearing Saints gear. The NFL took him off that game.

New York City, after Travel + Leisure magazine ranked it as the dirtiest city in America, with New Orleans and Baltimore second and third, respectively. New York City was also rated as the rudest and loudest city.

Corey and Hope O’Kelley of Largo, Fla., whose beagle, Arnie, ate a wad of cash worth $275. The couple sifted through Arnie’s poop and vomit for a week to collect shreds of money, washing it and piecing enough of it together for a bank to redeem it.