Good week, Bad week

Good week for:

Remembering your kid’s birthday, after Jacquie Parker of New York gave birth to a son on July 19. Jacquie and her husband, Paul, were also born on July 19. “I never thought it would actually happen,” Jacquie said.

Sleeping through the night, after the Crowne Plaza hotel chain started testing its first “snore absorption rooms,” with soundproof walls and “snore patrols” to knock on the doors of those who are snoring thunderously.

Decadence, after a Malaysian businessman bought the world’s most expensive yacht for $5 billion. The 100-foot boat is plated in gold, and has bedrooms covered in platinum and a statue made from a T. Rex bone. “This will never be topped,” said designer Stuart Hughes.

Bad week for:

Jared Medeiros of California, after the 21-year-old tried to retrieve his wallet from a manhole. Rescue workers found Medeiros waist-deep in the manhole, his legs flailing in the air.

Oenophiles, after a faulty forklift dropped 462 cases of Australian shiraz, leaving a spreading red puddle worth $1 million. “This wine is our pride and joy,” said winemaker Sparky Marquis. “We just couldn’t believe it.”

Relaxing vacations, after 170 people voluntarily checked into the new jail in Cole County, Mo. The guests were booked and photographed, ate in the prison dining hall, and slept in cells on steel bunks. “It was something they could experience without having to get a criminal record,” Sheriff Greg White explained.