The Week contest: Jet Song - August 27, 2010

Welcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.

Click here for results of last week's contest: New Term

Results: We asked you to come up with a country song about Steven Slater, the Jet Blue flight attendant who quit his job by swearing, swiping two beers and sliding down the emergency chute. You took off with:

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FIRST PRIZE: In the Event of a Water Landing, I Hope You All Drown

Bill Muse, Seattle

SECOND PLACE: My Flight Plan Don’t Include You

Jolene Smith, Idaho Falls, ID

THIRD PLACE: My Middle Finger’s Locked in The Upright Position

Karin Fiore, Huntington, NY

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

You Keep the Bull, I’ll Take the Chute

Daniela Fahey, Manahawkin, NJ

Take This Job and Shove It in the Overhead Compartment

Derek Sterling, Trumbull, CT

Tote Bags Keep Fallin’ on My Head

Jonas Wittke, Milwaukee

The Cabin Pressure Got to Me (So I Made an Unlikely Change)

Mark Temares, Garden City, NY

I’ll Be Workin’ on the Railroad

D. B. Faulkner, Los Angeles

Help Me Make It Though the Flight

Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, VA

Ain’t No Exit Near Enough

Jeff Kraus, New York City

Seething On a Jet Plane

Michael Goldin, Cave Creek, AZ

Leapin’ Off a Jet Plane

Kyle and Cathy Silver, East Brunswick, NJ

One Way Ticket on a Round Trip Flight

Larry Kaplan, St. Louis Park, MN

Frequent Crier

Heather Hanssen, St. Louis Park, MN

Take This Bag and Stow It

Ed Molinski, Blairstown, NJ

These Chutes Were Made for Walking

Susie Becker, San Rafael, CA

Drinks, Chutes, and Leaves

Ty Gwennap, Arden, NC

I’ve Got Those Walk-Out, Slide-Down, So-Long Bad Jet Blues

Dorothy Auerbach, San Francisco

Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow up to Serve Peanuts

Mike Martin, Alpharetta, GA

See Ya Later, Steven Slater

Lynda Kerwin (Delta Airlines, 31 years!), Honolulu

The Skies Ain’t Friendly No More

Ellen Wexler, Vienna, VA

When the Tarmac Hits the Tush

Miles Klein, Frisco, TX

Schlitz Slidin’ Away

William McClanahan, El Dorado Hills, CA

Where Were You (When-the-Jet-Blue-Flight-Attendant-Quit-His-Job-by-Sliding-Down-the-Inflatable-Chute-with-a-Couple-of-Beers-He Swiped-from-the-Beverage-Cart?)

Adam Strong, Olathe, KS